Crimson and Azure
by Random1377
Summary: A story about Rei's quest to find meaning in her life, with Shinji's help.  Third Impact has begun... can anyone stop it? Final chapter online now.
1. Can you hear me?

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion, and all characters, mecha, and concepts related thereto belong solely to Studio Gainax Animation. I claim no ownership over any facet of this story, and in the event that Gainax should request it, I will voluntarily erase any and all traces of this story in preference to any legal action against me. This is part 1 of Crimson and Azure, and may possibly contain strong language, violence, and sexual content - however, since this is just part 1, I do not know if any of these will appear. At this time, this story is rated PG-13, but this may change in future chapters. To avoid any confusion, let me make it clear now that this story will be centered around Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami. Enjoy.  
  
Crimson and Azure  
  
Part 1  
  
Can you hear me?  
By Random1377  
  
Rei Ayanami was not what most people considered to be an overly emotional girl. In fact, some questioned whether or not she HAD feelings at all. Shinji Ikari had always felt different, and had even seen her smile once (even if it had been his suggestion), but being a shy boy he didn't quite know how to approach her.  
  
However, even given his conviction that she might have more emotion than she let on (or was capable of showing), his mouth dropped open as she gently laid a hand on his arm as he got up to leave school one day.  
  
"Pilot Ikari. May I speak with you a moment?" she asked.  
  
Several of the other students stopped what they were doing to gape at the spectacle of Rei Ayanami speaking before being spoken to.  
  
"Wh-what do you need Ayanami?" Shinji asked, perplexed and a little uncomfortable with all the staring eyes.  
  
Rei seemed to become aware of the others, "May I speak with you in a private location?"  
  
Looking around, Shinji nodded and held his hand to the side, motioning for her to go first. He followed her out of the classroom and up the stairs to the roof - a location he did not expect her to choose.  
  
Once he was sure they had the roof to themselves, he asked politely, "Umm... what did you want to talk about, Ayanami?"  
  
Her tone was flat, "I have always..." she hesitated, unsure of how to continue, "I do not have my own... voice..." she whispered, hoping that she was being clear.  
  
Shinji looked at her, not quite understanding, but willing to listen.  
  
She bowed her head as she sought the right words, then spoke with great care, trying to ensure that her meaning was clear to him, "In reading our philosophy textbook I discovered a passage regarding voice. It stated that each person has their own individual voice, and that finding that voice can lead to happiness." She raised her eyes, and though her face remained devoid of expression, her eyes shown with moisture.  
  
"Ayanami, I..." Shinji honestly did not know what to say ((is she... going to cry?)). He had never seen her act this way before.  
  
"Pilot Ikari..." she began, her words almost too low for him to make out, "I do not have a voice, and I am not happy. Will you help me find my voice?"  
  
"I... Ayanami, I..." he took a deep breath, "I'll help you any way that I can, but I don't know how *I* can help..." He looked down, quietly adding, "I... I don't even know if I've found my own voice yet..."  
  
She tilted her head, "I have heard you play your musical instrument, Pilot Ikari... that gives you voice."  
  
He looked surprised. For one thing he did not know that she had ever heard him play, and for another the thought that his music might somehow define who he was had never occurred to him.  
  
She continued, "Perhaps it will not help... but will you teach me to play?"  
  
The request caught him totally off guard, "Umm... I... sure, I could try... I guess..." a thought occurred to him, "but don't you play an instrument already?"  
  
"I am proficient in three instruments, the viola, the flute and the harp..." her answer surprised him. He knew she played the viola, but had no idea about the others. He refocused his attention as she went on, "but none of them bring me happiness."  
  
He thought for a moment, "Ayanami, I don't know if the cello will either, I mean-"  
  
She was already nodding her head in agreement, "I am aware of that possibility, however I have seen the happiness on your face as you played, and I am willing to... to risk it..."  
  
Suddenly, Shinji became aware of just what it meant for someone as reclusive as Rei to 'risk it'. He nodded his head slowly, "Alright... when would you like to start?"  
  
A little tension went out of her frame, "If it is not an inconvenience to you, I would like to start tonight, as it is Friday and I am caught up on my assignments."  
  
"O-ok..." he said, nervous at the idea of trying to teach anyone, let alone her, "see you around five, then?"  
  
She nodded and began moving towards the door. She paused with her hand on the knob, turning to him, "Th-thank you..." she said hesitantly, and left without another word, her cheeks burning as her mind churned, ((It does not get easier to say)), she thought.  
  
"Anytime..." Shinji said quietly to the empty roof, "anytime..."  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: I am only going to put notes and a disclaimer on this first chapter to conserve space. I am going to try putting additional chapters out fairly quick, and keep them short, as I still have other projects going, but this story would NOT leave my mind, so I plan to work on it in whatever free time I have. In general, this will be a character study of Rei and Shinji, and the (slowly) growing relationship between them as Rei tries to find meaning in her seemingly monochromatic life. I plan to incorporate as many of the other NGE characters as I can, but their time "onscreen" will be brief... have no doubt in your mind this is a focus on Rei and Shinji - period.  
  
Feedback is always welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com, and big thanks go out to Ryoma for pre-reading and catching a couple of errors.  



	2. The lesson

Disclaimer: See chapter 1.  
  
Crimson and Azure  
  
Part 2  
The lesson  
By Random1377  
  
Rei showed up exactly at the appointed time, ringing the doorbell at precisely 5:00 and 00 seconds. Asuka answered the door, much to their mutual displeasure. Rei did not exactly dislike the blue-eyed girl, but her presence meant that she would undoubtedly interfere with Rei's lesson. Asuka, on the other hand, absolutely hated the First Child. She could not stand anything that reminded her of dolls... and Rei DEFINITELY reminded her of a doll.  
  
"What do you want, Wondergirl?" Asuka asked, not bothering to hide her irritation.  
  
"I am here to learn the cello from Pilot Ikari." Rei explained calmly, hoping that the other girl had plans to be elsewhere.  
  
Asuka's eye twitched and she frowned, "The cello...?" she echoed, "why would you want to waste-"  
  
"Ayanami, you're here!" Shinji's voice cut her off, "Asuka, let her in please."  
  
She shot him an icy glance, causing him to take a step back, "Whatever..." she grumbled, opening the door all the way and walking back to her room, leaving Rei to let herself in.  
  
Shinji walked to the door and invited her in, blushing slightly as he did ((Even though it's just a cello lesson, she IS here to see me... kind of...))  
  
Rei immediately and effortlessly dismissed further thoughts along those lines as she breezed past him, barely even acknowledging his presence.  
  
Shinji sighed and closed the door. "Right this way, Ayanami." He led her to the living room, where he had set up a chair and his cello. He gestured for her to sit, and when she had he carefully leaned the cello forward for her to take.  
  
Slowly, she reached out and took the instrument, leaning the neck against her shoulder the way she had seen him doing it.  
  
Resting against the doorframe, Asuka snorted, "This is pathetic. It's like watching an old man passing on his prized possession." She clasped her hands together and looked upward, her voice rising an octave, "Oh daddy dear, thank you! Thank you for this wonderful gift!" She then put her hands on her hips and nodded sagely, dropping her voice as low as she could, "It belonged to my grandfather's grandfather... so be carefully with it, son." Abruptly she was back to normal, "Feh, I'm leaving."  
  
Shinji watched her as she walked out the door, a frown on his face. Rei ignored her exit completely, focusing instead on the instrument in her hands.  
  
Shinji shook his head and handed her the bow, "Here... let's see how you hold it."  
  
Rei took it and laid it across the strings, trying to remember how Shinji had done it, "Like this?" she asked quietly.  
  
He viewed her with a critical eye, then said, "Hmmm... close, but not quite... umm... may I...?"  
  
She looked at him blankly, "May you what?"  
  
He blushed, "Umm... well, here..." he walked over and stood behind her. "Put your left hand here, cradling the neck," he laid his hand on hers, causing a small spark of static electricity to shoot between them.  
  
"Ouch... sorry..." he apologized.  
  
"It is alright, I am uninjured." She said, waiting patiently for further instruction.  
  
He tried again, noticing how his hand contrasted sharply with her skin as he gently guided her hand to the correct location. ((She's so... pale...)) he thought, ((I wonder how she doesn't get sunburned...)) He began blushing as he noticed something else - not for the first time, ((and she's so... pretty...))  
  
Rei observed a slight tremor in his touch as Shinji carefully repositioned the bow in her right hand, leaning over her shoulder. She also observed his breath, blowing gently across her shoulder and neck, ((It is very warm...)) she thought, ((I...)) she blushed slightly, remembering Touji Suzuhara's words of two months prior: 'Oh, you've got a thing for Ikari alright'. Her blush deepened as his fingers accidentally slid across hers in his efforts to place her fingers on the stings.  
  
"T-There..." he said, drawing back from her with some reluctance. Had they been facing each other, they might have been aware of the quiet moment of oneness that they were unconsciously sharing... and perhaps something more might have come if it. As is was, Shinji said, "Umm... that... that looks right. Give it a try."  
  
Rei nodded, clearing away the surfacing thoughts and questions that his brief touch had evoked. She carefully drew the bow across the strings.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's note: A brief note on Voice (or at least, my understanding of it), as requested. The way *I* understand it, voice is how you express yourself. My writing, for example, gives me voice because the way I write is unique to me, and I enjoy doing it (at least, that's what a friend of mine told me). It's KIND of like style, I guess... great artists are known by their voice - if you listen to enough music you can easily recognize a specific musician's work, even though you can't see them (ok, poor example. Think of an author instead... if you read enough of a certain author's work, you will be able to identify them after a few lines - even if they are not identified).   
  
My friend put it this way: "it is not written in stone or anything, to me "voice" is just an extension of one's soul or heart, an expression of one's vision. As with people, "voice"  
is neither inherently good or bad, light or dark, soft or hard, it just is what it is." A child knows the Sound of its father, a dog the sound of its master." (his site can be found at www.i-pocalypse.net).  
  
If I seem a bit vague it's because my own understanding is imperfect, which is one of the reasons I'm writing this story... so I can try and pin it down myself.  



	3. Belief

Disclaimer: See part 1.  
Crimson and Azure  
  
Part 3  
Belief  
By Random1377  
  
It was not going well. Shinji had his hands clasped over his ears as the cello made a terrible screeching sound. Asuka had stormed out an hour prior, mumbling something about going to a construction site for some quiet. It was two weeks since the first lesson, and Rei had not improved... at all.   
  
"Th-that's enough for today, Ayanami." He yelled, blinking at the sudden quiet.  
  
"I do not understand why I cannot play this melody, it is fairly basic." Rei said calmly, ignoring Shinji's thankful sigh.  
  
"Let's go out on the balcony," he suggested, "it's hot in here."  
  
They moved to the balcony and looked out at the sky.  
  
"Why am I not improving?" Rei whispered.  
  
Shinji looked at the sky, "Think of it like... Atlantis!" he said suddenly, as inspiration hit, "Up until the year Two Thousand, people still looked for the legendary city lost at sea."  
  
Rei's reply was flat, "Atlantis is a fictional city created by the philosopher Plato to illustrate a point to one of his students about excessive pride... seeking it would be useless."  
  
Shinji shook his head, "How do you know it was fictional?"  
  
Her brow creased very slightly - she did not understand his line of questioning, "It was written in our textbook."  
  
He leaned forward, excited, "Yes, but what if the textbook was wrong?"  
  
"Then they should not be using them to teach us." She said simply.  
  
Shinji groaned and tried another approach, "Ok, how do you know that the textbook is RIGHT?"  
  
"Because I am told that it is," she said, losing interest in the conversation.  
  
"Yes, but... WHY do you believe!?" he pressed.   
  
She blinked, "I..." she closed her mouth, feeling that she had been tricked somehow, "If I do not believe, I will not be educated." She said coolly.  
  
He smiled, seeing an opportunity, "Yes... that's true," he conceded, "but if the textbook said that Atlantis DID exist, you would believe THAT, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Yes," she said, "I would."  
  
He leaned in closer, and asked quietly, "Why are you bad at the cello?"  
  
She started, completely unprepared for this question. She was composed again in a second, "I do not yet have the necessary skill to-"  
  
He cut her off, "You play another stringed instrument just fine, the skill and theory should be the same for someone as talented as you," he blushed self-consciously, but went on, "by now you should be able to at least play a simple tune... why can't you?"  
  
She was confused, "Because I..." she trailed off, uncertain.  
  
He spoke reassuringly, "I think it's because you don't believe that you can. When the old sailors went looking for Atlantis, they did it because they believed it was there, even though textbooks said it wasn't." He leaned closer to her, "Just believe, Rei. You know how to make the notes, you know how to hold the bow, just believe that you can do it." He looked at the ground, "I believe in you, Rei..."  
  
She looked at him, blushing slightly at the praise, "We should... go back inside..." she said after a moment.  
  
He smiled sheepishly, "Yes, we should..."  
  
They went in the house and she practiced some more. Though Rei was not immediately better, Shinji felt like she could be. ((She just needs a little time and someone to believe in her)) he thought happily... unconsciously laying his finger on everything that was wrong in both of their lives.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: Just a quick note here. I don't play a stringed instrument, so if I'm wrong about any of Shinji's comments in that regard, I apologize.  



	4. Pushing buttons

Disclaimer: See part 1.  
  
Part 4  
Pushing buttons  
By Random1377  
  
Several days later, things were looking up. Rei could play a basic tune, though she still did not feel happy, she did feel slightly better... especially when Shinji focussed his undivided attention on her. If asked, she would not be able to tell exactly what it was about his gaze that pleased her... only that it did.  
  
It was a particularly warm evening, and Rei had been practicing for some time, thought she did not know how long. Another secret she kept besides her pleasure in Ikari's gaze was the fact that she lost track of time when she practiced... she kept this to herself because she did not want it to prove to be a false hope. Why else lose track of time unless you were happy?  
  
Shinji looked at the clock, "Let's take a break. Do you... do you want a drink, Ayanami?" he asked hesitantly.  
  
"No thank you, Pilot Ikari." She said politely.  
  
"Umm... ok..." he took the bow and said, "I should probably rosin this up... be right back."  
  
For once, Asuka had stayed in the room while Rei practiced... though she spent the whole time frowning as she read a magazine. As soon as Shinji left the room, she stood up and leaned over Rei, speaking softly, "Why are you wasting your time with this? You suck at it."  
  
Rei just looked at the other girl placidly, "I believe that I am making progress... and... and Ikari does too..." she blushed slightly as she recalled their conversation, and his frank statement.  
  
"Oh he does, does he?" Asuka's eyes narrowed, not at all liking the rise in the other girl's color.  
  
Shinji came into the room holding the bow and sat down across from Rei, "Asuka, could you leave us alone, we're... we're trying to practice..." he blushed, finding it very difficult to say anything even remotely antagonistic to the redhead.  
  
She scoffed, "Practice... what a joke. Who would want YOU for a teacher anyway?" she then held her hand up, forestalling any comment, "Oh, wait, I forgot... you're teaching a doll. Only someone as challenged as SHE is would consider wasting time with you as 'educational'"  
  
Shinji opened his mouth to say something, but she quickly cut him off again, "What?" she taunted, "Are you going to say you're sorry?" She glared at him, "Save it! I don't want to hear that... you apologize too damn much... loser."  
  
Abruptly, Shinji's hand opened, and the bow clattered to the floor. He rose to his feet, trembling, and looked at Rei. "Excuse me..." he whispered. He left the room without saying another word.  
  
Asuka shook her head as the door to his room closed, "Idiot... he'd probably apologize if the moon fell out of the sky."  
  
Rei regarded her for a moment, and then said softly, "Pilot Souryu? May I ask a question?"  
  
Asuka whipped her head around, surprised because she had forgotten the girl was there at all, and because of the hint of genuine curiosity in the red-eyed girl's voice. "What is it, First?" she snapped, her distaste for the other overcoming any other emotion.  
  
Rei leaned down and picked up the bow, carefully placing it on the seat before answering, "Do you... enjoy hurting him?"  
  
Asuka's eyes widened and she opened her mouth, but no words came forth.  
  
Rei continued, "I do not understand your interaction with Pilot Ikari. You treat him as if he was..." she searched for an appropriate word, "subhuman. Is your hatred for him so strong?" She waited patiently, but the other girl had no response... she merely stared at the floor, a blush creeping slowly from her neck to her cheeks.  
  
Seeing that no answer was forthcoming, Rei nodded to herself and picked up her book bag, walking slowly for the door. "Please tell Pilot Ikari that I will see him tomorrow for another lesson... goodbye."  
  
Asuka stood in the room long after Rei had gone, the First Child's words echoing in her head... especially the words hatred and hurting.  
  
"Stupid doll..." she whispered, "what does she know, anyway?" but in her mind's eye, she could still see the look on Shinji's face as he stood and excused himself from the room.  
  
Continued...  
  



	5. Changing Tempo

Disclaimer: see part 1  
Part 5  
Changing tempo  
By Random1377  
  
In spite of the heavy instrument he was currently lugging up the third of four flights of stairs, and the sounds of construction coming from outside, Shinji was a very happy young man.  
  
"Are you certain that you do not require assistance?" Rei asked as he wrestled the big black case around the corner, "I would not mind."  
  
He shook his head, not wanting to waste breath on talking. It had not been too hard to get the thing out of the apartment (it had an elevator) and across town (the monorail system had very large doors), but he had not banked on the stairs in Rei's building.  
  
As he made his way up the last flight, he thought of her hesitant invitation move their lessons to her building. Recalling Asuka's harsh words of the day before, the decision had not taken much thought. He stopped thankfully at her floor, catching his breath, and thought of how Asuka had looked as they left the apartment.  
  
'No parting insult before we go?' Shinji had asked her, a bit surprised by the bitterness in his tone. She had opened her mouth and then closed it, shaking her head. If Shinji had not known better, he would have thought that she looked a touch... sad. She was still standing in the hallway with the same look on her face as they go into the elevator.  
  
((She's probably just mad she won't get to tease Rei and me anymore)) he thought, not without a trace of anger. As they made their way down the hallway, Shinji asked something that had been on his mind for some time, "Ayanami? Why don't you move?"  
  
She looked at him over the top of the cello case curiously, "What reason would I have to relocate?"  
  
"Well," he said as they reached her door (and she pushed it open easily, since it was not locked), "for one thing there is no lock on your door... and the building looks like it's about to fall down."  
  
She preceded him into the dirty apartment, "The structure is sound, and a lock is unnecessary."  
  
Shinji noticed that all of the cleaning he had done before the Unit 03 incident had gone to waste... if anything the place looked worse - even the bloody bandages were back, a tribute to Rei's encounter with the angel of might.  
  
Shinji sighed sadly as he looked around, then brought his attention back to her words, "What do you mean a lock would be unnecessary?"  
  
She dropped her book bag on the floor, ignoring the small swirl of dust that arose, "I have nothing worth protecting."  
  
Setting the cello down Shinji looked at her, a slight blush on his cheeks, "Umm... you're worth protecting..." he said quietly.  
  
Rei did not hesitate in her response, "No, I am not. Will you begin the lesson now, Pilot Ikari?"  
  
Shinji nodded dumbly, not really knowing what to say, "Y-yeah... umm... do you have a chair?"  
  
She walked over to where a folding chair was leaning against the wall and unfolded it, sitting down and waiting for more instruction.  
  
It occurred to Shinji suddenly that she looked very alone sitting in the middle of the room, with dust motes dancing around her hair like a halo. He looked at the ground, afraid that she would be able to see the longing in his eyes.  
  
Quietly, he laid the cello case on the floor and removed the instrument carefully. He brought it over to her, vaguely proud as she leaned it against her shoulder in exactly the right position ((She looks so natural... she... she won't need me much longer... she's too good...)) the thought saddened him immensely.   
  
He handed her the bow and she placed it against the strings, waiting patiently for him to tell her what to do next. He just stared at her mutely, ((She... she doesn't need me NOW)) he thought, his vision blurring as the truth of the thought washed over him.  
  
He took a deep breath, "Ayanami? Would you... would you like to keep the cello here? It... it doesn't make sense to carry it back and forth all the time... and you could... you could practice without me..."  
  
She looked at him, only the barest trace of surprise visible, "Yes... I would like that, Pilot Ikari." She waited for him to direct her.  
  
Finally, Shinji came to a conclusion. He spoke softly, "Umm... I think... I think that you don't need me to teach you anymore, Ayanami..."  
  
She looked at him, faintly confused, "I... I do not understand. I am not yet as proficient as you are, could I not learn more?"  
  
He shook his head, fighting the tears that threatened to overtake him, "No, you... you know how to play almost as well as I do, and the rest is just practice. You keep the cello here, I... I don't think I'll be playing it for a while." He turned to leave.  
  
Rei's voice stopped him at the door, "I... I will need to install a lock... I have something valuable here now..." he thought she sounded disappointed... but he shook his head, knowing that it must be his imagination.  
  
"Two... there are two things that are valuable..." he said softly to himself as he pulled the door open and stepped out.  
  
Rei's head came up suddenly, his barely spoken words echoing in her ears. She rose smoothly, setting the bow down gently. She moved quickly to the door, ((Why am I doing this?)) she thought, ((why do I feel that I cannot let him leave?))  
  
She opened the door, intending to call out to him, and promptly crashed to the floor, Shinji landing on top of her with a surprised gasp. He looked up into Rei's eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that he had been crying as he leaned against her door.   
  
She spoke quietly, ignoring his weight on her, "Ikari... please do not stop teaching me... I... I want you to stay... will you?"  
  
"Why..." he whispered, "why do you want me to stay, Ayanami? I... I don't have anything more I can teach you." he completely missed the fact that she had not addressed him as Pilot.  
  
She blushed a deep crimson as she became more aware of his body pressing against hers, and of where her thoughts were running, "I... I wish you to stay because... I do not want to be alone when I play, or I will not know my voice if I find it..." ((That is not the reason...)) she thought, her eyes opening wider, ((I... I just... lied...)), the realization hit her hard, ((Why... why did I do that?))  
  
Shinji blushed as bright as her as he realized that his chest was resting between her legs. He carefully extracted himself, taking great care not to look down, "I... I'm sorry that I fell on you..." he said softly. He took a deep breath and offered to help her to her feet, "I... of course I'll stay..." he said, smiling reassuringly.  
  
She favored him with one of her rare smiles, "Thank you..." ((I was wrong...)) she thought happily as she took her seat, ((it DOES get easier to say)).  
  
Continued.  
  
Author's notes: I'd like to take a moment to thank D.L., who sent me some very helpful information on stringed instruments and confirmed my notion that moving the cello to Rei's apartment would be a good plan. Thanks, D.L.! Also, I've decided to increase the chapter length and the time between chapters, as the main complaint in this story seems to be the lack OF story.  



	6. Descent

Disclaimer: see chapter 1  
Part 6  
Descent  
By Random1377  
  
Odd... odd that she should think of music at a time likes this. ((Why would my last lesson be recalled now?)) Rei asked herself as she descended into the depths of Terminal Dogma with excruciating slowness.  
  
"AHHH!!!" Asuka screamed again as the orbiting angel penetrated further into her mind, "No... PLEASE GOD NO!!!!"  
  
For the tenth time, Rei reached for the switch to deactivate the communications system, and for the tenth time, she stayed her hand, ((I... I may need further orders...)) she thought, though the real reason was far more intricate than that.  
  
No, Rei left the communications channel open because she needed to... because she HAD to. Asuka's gradually weakening cries forced her to recall that she, too, WAS human.  
  
((It is not right...)) she thought as the EVA passed another level, ((it is not right that she should suffer so... I should not ignore her cries...)) she was still a long ways from the bottom, and she had already failed in one attempt to save the redhead... though it was not her fault the rifle did not have the power to pierce the angel's AT field.  
  
She shifted her attention, focussing her thoughts on her memory of how the cello felt leaning against her shoulder, ((I should be having my lesson with Ikari now...)) she thought, deeply wishing that she was there in her apartment with him.  
  
((With... with him...)) she thought as continued her descent, ((what if it were him under attack...)) the thought... chilled her for some reason she could not identify. She did not hate the blue-eyed pilot of Unit 02, but at the same time she felt as if it would be somehow different if HE was in danger... somehow...  
  
"Father!" Shinji's voice broke her thoughts apart.  
  
((So much pain...)) she thought, ((he wants so much to help her... to help everyone...)) The thought that Shinji may like Asuka better than her never crossed her mind. Asuka did not speak kindly to him when she spoke at all, and Rei knew somehow that Shinji liked her over the redhead... somehow...  
  
"Let me help her, father!!" Rei listened as Shinji pleaded with the Commander once more. She knew the result of such a plea... Commander Ikari had made it clear that Unit 01 would not be threatened in any way.  
  
((Does he not trust that I will protect Pilot Souryu?)) she thought to herself, with the barest hint of anger.  
  
Yet she knew that this was not the case... she knew that if she was being attacked and Asuka was the one getting the Lance, that Shinji would still want to defend... it was in his nature.  
  
"Please... please at least let me talk to her... don't..." his voice choked up to a whisper, "don't let her die alone..."  
  
Rei felt her eyes stinging at the thought of Shinji being so unhappy. She felt something warm and wet slide down her cheek and mingle with the LCL.  
  
"Is this... a tear?" she whispered, with disbelief in her voice, "am I the one who is crying?"  
  
Her attention was drawn to screen in front of her as the ground approached. Once she retrieved the lance, the journey back to the surface would be much faster. She began moving forward as Shinji began talking to Asuka.  
  
"Asuka... Asuka, can you hear me?" he tried to make his voice level.  
  
"Sh-Shinji?" the blue-eyed pilot's voice sounded broken.  
  
"Asuka... hold on... don't.... don't leave me..." his voice wavered, but did not break.  
  
"Shinji... Shinji, it... hurts... I don't... I don't want to remember," her voice rose to a shriek, "MAMA!!!"  
  
"Asuka!! ASUKA!!! Listen to me!" he tried to regain the girl's attention.  
  
Rei maneuvered her Evangelion into the lake of LCL deep within headquarters, causing waves of the thick fluid to wash up on the shores. ((Why are you doing this, Ikari?)) Rei thought, ((I do not believe that you can help her with your voice alone...)) her thought trailed off as she reached the giant being, and the Lance protruding from it.  
  
The word voice echoed in her mind as she began to carefully remove the red artifact.  
  
"Shinji?" Asuka's voice was low and terrified, "please help me, Shinji... I... I don't want to remember these awful things..."  
  
"Asuka...I... I can't come for you... but Rei can..." Shinji's voice was filled with sorrow that he could do nothing.  
  
Asuka's reaction was not what Rei was expecting, "NO!!! Not that doll! I'd rather die, do you hear me, I'd rather DIE!!!" her voice returned to normal as she yelled.  
  
"Asuka..." Shinji said quietly, "I... I don't want you to die..."  
  
"Why, Shinji?" her voice was desperate, "Why do you care... you want to get rid of me so you can always be number one..."  
  
"That's not it at all!!" he said, "I-"  
  
"Then what is- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" Asuka's question was cut off as the angel intensified its attack on her psyche.  
  
"ASUKA!!!" Shinji shouted, "Listen to me... ONLY ME!!"  
  
"Shinji..." she whispered, "I'm... I'm trying... but it's so hard... so hard to think..."  
  
Rei was already on her way back to the surface, the dual-pronged Lace of Longinuss clutched firmly in her Evangelion's blue fist.  
  
"Asuka... don't leave me... please?" Shinji's voice was pleading. "Who would tease me every day? Who would race me to school? Who would... who would force me to try harder?"  
  
Rei realized that Shinji was crying, ((Would you... would you cry for me, Ikari?)) she thought as she reached the surface. She suddenly became aware that she was crying... that she had never even stopped. She raised the Lance over her Unit's head and awaited the computer's go-ahead.  
  
"Why..." Asuka repeated, her voice almost gone, "why do you care if I die... no one cares..."  
  
Rei drew the lance back, not noticing how it twisted and merged into a single spike in anticipation of the throw.  
  
"Asuka.... I..."  
  
Rei's Eva braced its back foot.  
  
"I..."  
  
The blue mecha took a step forward, all of its muscles tensing.  
  
"Asuka, I... I love you..."  
  
The Lance left Unit 00's hands at more than the speed of sound, superheating the air as it passed through... disrupting the cloud formations... and ultimately tearing through the angel's AT field and body as if they were not there.  
  
In the stillness that followed, Asuka's voice could be heard clear as a bell, "You... you love me?"  
  
Rei waited for Shinji's response with her breath held, "Yes... I do..." he finally answered.  
  
Rei's head bowed forward, resting on the 00 stenciled on her Plugsuit. ((No...)) her mind whispered, ((no... no... no... it should... it should be me...)) more tears coursed down her face, blurring her vision, "Shinji..." she spoke quietly, "I love Shinji..."  
  
In the aftermath of the angel's attack... in the quiet stillness of Evangelion Unit 00's entry plug... realizing what truly made her happy, Rei Ayanami found her voice... and she used it to scream her loss...  
  
Continued...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Internation

Disclaimer: see part 1.  
Part 7  
Internation  
  
Asuka sat in a square of yellow tape, cordoned off from the rest of the world. Her arms were wrapped around her knees as she watched Unit 02 being returned to its cage.  
  
"Asuka! I'm... I'm glad you're ok..." Shinji called for the parameter of the tape.  
  
She looked over her shoulder, considering him, then smiled... a wan smile, but a smile nonetheless, "I'm ok because of you, Shinji..." she whispered.  
  
Shinji swallowed, taken in by her beauty. ((Is... is this right?)) he thought to himself. She stood and walked over to him, stopping as she reached the tape.  
  
She abruptly reached up and pulled him into a hug, "If you hadn't spoken to me and told me those... those wonderful words... I would be dead now, Shinji."  
  
He blushed deeply, "I... I meant what I said, Asuka..." though his voice hesitated as he spoke.  
  
Asuka smiled over his shoulder, and sighed, "I know you did, Shinji...I know you did." She drew back and kissed him... on the cheek, "But I don't think you meant them the way you want me to think you did..."  
  
He met her eyes, surprised, "What... what do you mean?"  
  
She patted his cheek, "You are such an idiot," she said, a smile stealing across her face, "I'm not stupid... I know that you love Wondergirl..."  
  
Shinji's eyes widened, "What...?"  
  
Asuka looked surprised for a minute, and then threw her head back and laughed, "Oh... oh that's too funny..." she backed a step away from him, holding her sides as she doubled over.  
  
"What is SO FUNNY?!" Shinji was starting to get annoyed (though inside he was thrilled to see her happy).  
  
She wiped a tear from her eye, "Oh... oh and you don't... you don't even KNOW!!!"  
  
"KNOW WHAT!?" he screamed in frustration.  
  
Once she had calmed sufficiently, she stepped forward and hugged him again, amused at how he held himself tense, "You love Rei, you moron... why are you trying to deny it? I've seen the way you look at her, and the way she looks at you. Man, if there were ever two people that were in deeper than you guys, I've never seen it!"  
  
He stared straight ahead in shock, his mind whipping through recent events, ((Is it... is it possible?))  
  
Asuka held him tighter, "Shinji... I love you too, and I'm glad that you are in my life - as a friend." She pulled back and smiled at him, "Now go find Wondergirl before it's too late, ok?" her smile fell away, "I'm sure she heard what you said."  
  
He paled and turned to leave, "Thank you, Asuka..." he said as he ran off.  
  
She smiled sadly, ((Maybe this can make up for how I treated him...)) she wrapped her arms around herself, "Wondergirl... you BETTER appreciate what I gave up for you..." she whispered. She watched Shinji disappear in the distance, still smiling that small, sad smile...  
  
**  
  
Shinji searched everywhere he thought he might find Rei. He went to NERV HQ... to the EVA cages... to Misato's apartment... and finally (after slapping himself in the head for not looking there first) he went to her apartment.  
  
As he approached the door, he heard the sound of Namida floating from the apartment, the lilting tones flowing smoothly. For once, the construction had ceased (or at the very least had quieted enough to allow him to hear), and he stood outside of her door, listening with a soft smile as the cello brought forth the sad notes of the song.  
  
When the sound trailed off, he knocked gently on the door. He had considered just walking in, but this was no longer possible as Rei had finally installed a lock on the door, ((Thank goodness...)) he thought idly as he waited, ((there's too much that I value behind this door...))  
  
"Ikari..." Rei said coolly as she opened the door, "why are you here?" he noticed that the bow was clutched tightly to her chest, like a talisman to ward off evil.  
  
Shinji flinched at her cold tone, "Umm... I..." he looked at his watch, ((Thank God for coincidence!!)) he thought, "It's... it's time for our lesson..." he said awkwardly, "sorry I'm late..."  
  
She began to close the door, "I no longer require lessons... I... I know all that I need..." her voice was low, the pain in her heart evident.  
  
He put his hand desperately on the door, stopping its progress, "Rei, Wait! There... there's one more lesson I forgot to teach you..."  
  
She regarded him uncertainly, then opened the door, her curiosity piqued, "What is it?"  
  
He stepped into the apartment and gestured to the seat, "Sit down and I'll show you." She sat down carefully, taking the cello. "Ok, now you just concentrate on the bow..."  
  
"What about the..." she began, "strings..." she finished quietly as he stood behind her and gently reached over her shoulder and put his hand around the instrument's neck.  
  
"Just... just work the bow..." he said softly, "we'll play Bach's Cello Suite number one, ok?"  
  
"That is a complex piece, Ikari..." she said quietly.  
  
"I think we can play it... together... I believe in you, Rei... do you..." he swallowed, "do you believe in me?"  
  
After a moment she nodded, and began to draw the bow.  
  
Quietly the strains of music filled the room. As the music flowed, Rei's mind was in turmoil, ((Why is he doing this? He has made his feelings for her clear... is he... teasing me?)) the thought made her frown and nearly play the wrong note.  
  
After a few moments Shinji leaned closer, "Rei?" he said quietly.  
  
She shivered slightly as his breath blew across her neck, "What is it, Ikari?"  
  
He hesitated, "It's... it's about Asuka... I-"  
  
Rei realized that she could not take any more, "I... I do not want to know, Ikari... it... it is between you and her... now..." still she drew the bow, focussing her concentration on that, ((Please... please do not torment me any more with what I cannot have...)) her mind entreated.  
  
He drew a deep breath, pressing the strings with great care, "Rei... you don't understand, I-"  
  
Abruptly, she stopped playing, "I... I do not want to play any more... please... please leave..."  
  
Shinji's heart skipped a beat, "Rei... please listen to me!"  
  
She shook her head, "No... I do not wish to hear of your love for her... I... I will leave..."  
  
She stood up quickly, forgetting that his arm was still around her shoulder. Losing his balance, Shinji tumbled to the side, bringing Rei and the cello down with him. They landed with a crash, Rei first, Shinji next, the cello last.  
  
Shinji opened his eyes (which he had closed by reflex), to find himself inches from Rei's face... her red eyes staring back at him with, ((What... what do I see in her eyes?)) he asked himself, ((Is it... is it love?))  
  
"Ikari?" Rei said quietly, "Why... why do you always end up lying on top of me?"  
  
Shinji said nothing, he just continued staring into her soulful eyes as if he were mesmerized.  
  
Rei decided that she might never be this close to him again. She reached up and pulled his mouth down to hers, surprising him with her strength and need, ((I need to feel this...)) she said to herself, ((just once... just one time before he is hers forever...)) They kissed softly for several minutes, Rei holding Shinji firmly in place as she explored his lips with hers.  
  
At that precise moment, Shinji could not have told you what day it was... and he may have even been hard-pressed to tell you his own name. He let her kiss him - welcomed it with open arms. Realizing that he should do something, he released the cello and brought his hand up to her arm, gently stroking the skin just below her elbow... and kissing her back for all he was worth.  
  
After a moment, Rei stuck her leg out to the side, and using it as leverage she flipped him over, landing on top of him. Amazingly, they were still kissing. She grasped his hands with hers and held them at the wrists, ((I... will not let you go now...)) she thought. She needn't have worried; Shinji was not inclined to go anywhere.  
  
After some time, Rei broke the kiss... but she did not release his arms. She stared into his eyes, searching for something, ((I... I must tell him... and I must know how he feels as well...))  
  
"Rei-" Shinji began, but she cut him off.  
  
"Shinji..." she began, her voice cracking, "Shinji... love me instead... I... I love you, and I want so much to be with you... please... please love me the way you love her..." Shinji's mouth dropped open, ((Why... why did I say that?)) she thought frantically. She climbed off of him and ran toward the door, tears nearly blinding her.   
  
She stopped as she reached the door, his quiet words cutting the air like a knife, "I... I do Rei... I do love you..."  
  
She didn't turn around, "What... what did you say?"  
  
She heard him rise to his feet, but still she dared not look. She heard his footsteps approach, and felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind. She shivered as his warm breath blew against her ear, his voice whispering, "I do love you, Rei..."  
  
"What... what about Pilot Souryu?" she asked, barely breathing.  
  
He kissed the side of her neck, making her knees go weak, "I love her too... but not the same way I love you... she's... she's a very good friend..."  
  
She still did not face him, "and... and what am I... Shinji?"  
  
"Something more... I hope..." his voice trembled as he spoke, "much, much more..."  
  
Slowly, Rei reached back and ran her fingers through his hair. ((Much more...)) she thought, her heart soaring. Tilting her head to the side, she pulled his lips against hers again. They stood kissing like that for some minutes, Rei with her back against him and her head to the side... Shinji with his hands around her waist, leaning forward to meet her.  
  
After a moment she pulled away, sighing deeply, "This will not work..." she said quietly, stepping away.  
  
Shinji looked at the floor, "B-but... I... I understa-"  
  
She continued, smiling gently, "It is too uncomfortable," she turned to face him fully, and slid her arms around him, "this is much better..." she whispered, kissing him with abandon.  
  
They spent the rest of the afternoon and evening exchanging soft kisses and tender words, each comfortable in the knowledge that the other was more than a friend... much more...  
  
  
  
Continued...  
  
Omake  
  
She stood up quickly, forgetting that his arm was still around her shoulder. Losing his balance, Shinji tumbled to the side, bringing Rei and the cello down with him. They landed with a crash.   
  
As they came down, Rei landed on Shinji's arm, breaking it, and sending a shard of bone rushing through his bloodstream towards his heart. The bow plunged deeply into her chest at the same time, drawing a surprised gasp from the girl. As they lay there wrapped around each other, with cello strings snapping and whipping across them and Rei's lifeblood pouring out onto the floor and onto Shinji, they expressed their undying love for one another the only way that they could... they died. The End.  
  
  
Author's notes: What? Why are you all looking at me that way?? Didn't I say in part one that this was a Shinji/Rei fic??? As Kimberly might say, "I'm such a tricker..." ;) Also, thanks again to D.L. for coming through on the Cello information. I owe you one! (hope you approve of the ones I chose). Oh, and blame my friend JobFaust for that last part... that sicko MADE me write it!! :)  



	8. Discord

Disclaimer: see part 1  
  
Part 8  
Discord  
By Random1377  
  
Rei walked to school quietly, thinking of all that had happened in the last few weeks. The cello lessons had continued, but they mostly consisted of Shinji listening to her play, as she had become... not his equal, but at least skilled enough to handle things on her own without his guidance.  
  
It pleased her that she was doing well, and it pleased her to observe him listening to her play... with his head tilted slightly to the side and a small smile on his lips.  
  
But then there was the slowly growing relationship between them. She frowned slightly, wondering where things were heading on that front. Certainly she enjoyed kissing him and being told that she was loved... but something was awry. In the last few days, his kisses had become increasingly... hungry. As if he was trying to consume her.  
  
The thought chilled her. Though she felt a growing desire to give herself to him, she was hesitant about doing anything so soon... but the way he kissed her whispered that he may not wait for her to offer.  
  
She desperately wanted to believe that he would not do anything against her wishes, but she had read too many books on human interaction and the inherent risks of relationships.  
  
She did not like to doubt the one she loved. She resolved to discuss it with him before her next lesson.  
  
"Well," a brash voice broke her from her thoughts, "if it isn't Wondergirl..." she turned to find Asuka heading towards her, a broad smile on her face.  
  
"Hello..." she said quietly. The Second Child's behavior was yet another thing that weighed on her mind. Since the angel, the girl had seemed... unbalanced. She would be friendly to Rei one day, then cold and almost hostile the next.  
  
Today seemed to be a friendly day, "So... where's your boyfriend?"  
  
Rei looked at her sideways, "I do not know... should he not be with you?"  
  
Asuka winked her eye, "He didn't come home last night... you SURE he didn't spend the night with you?" she dropped her voice, "Come on, Rei... you can tell me... did you... do it?"  
  
Though Rei knew what the girl was talking about, she was shocked that the redhead would say something so forward, so she said, "Do what?" hoping that maybe she was mistaken. It did not cross her mind to think of where Shinji had been if he was not with her and had not been home.  
  
Asuka was frowning, "Don't play dumb with me, First!" she snapped. Then her tone softened a little bit, "I just want to know... if it was good..." the intensity of her stare made Rei shiver inside.  
  
"I... we did not do... that... I have not seen him since he left my building last night." Which was the truth. The thought of uniting with her fellow pilot made her pleased on many levels, but she was still unsure if it was right. And she was certainly not about to ask Asuka's advice - especially since the blue-eyed girl already assumed that they were 'doing it' as she so eloquently put it. -I must speak with him...- she thought, -I must know how he feels...- she decided that lunchtime would be better than her lesson.  
  
Asuka looked disappointed, "Oh... I thought for sure..." she stopped walking, "wait... then where was he last night?" She tried to recall the previous night's events. She remembered watching TV... then taking a bath... then...  
  
She frowned, -Misato left the house in an awfully big hurry last night...- she thought, remembering the woman's casual comment not to wait up for her. But hadn't there been something... odd about how casual she was? Perhaps a certain... tightness around the eyes that hinted at something below the surface? "Damn..." Asuka whispered, "why didn't I see it then?"  
  
Rei had stopped also, and was watching her, "Is something wrong?" she asked quietly.  
  
Asuka picked up her cell phone and dialed Misato's number. After three rings, Misato answered, sounding incredibly tired, "Katsuragi..."  
  
"Misato? Are you ok? What's going on?" Asuka's feeling of unease grew with each second the lavender-headed woman was silent.  
  
"I suppose you'll find out eventually..." she said with a sigh, "Shinji was... hit by a car last night... he's in the hospital."  
  
"WHAT!?!" Asuka could not believe what she was hearing, "And just when were you planning to tell me??"  
  
Misato's voice was low, "Asuka... I..." she took a deep breath, fighting back tears, "I wasn't going to tell you until they knew for sure..." a small sob escaped her, "until they knew if he would make it..." she finished in a whisper, "I didn't want to worry you..."  
  
The phone slid from Asuka's fingers slowly, her eyes wide with shock. "What is-" Rei began, but before she could finish, the redhead took off running, dropping her book-bag, and offering no explanation.  
  
Rei watched her departure, with a slight frown, then picked up the discarded phone, "Major Katsuragi? Is there a problem?" She listened as the woman spoke, growing even paler than usual.  
  
Twenty seconds later, she was running too.  
  
**  
  
Rei arrived at the hospital and found Asuka arguing with a nurse, "I don't give a good GODDAMN! Do you see THIS?!" she was shaking her NERV ID at the woman, "THIS means I can go wherever the hell I WANT! Now get out of my way!"  
  
The nurse got out of her way. Rei followed her as she ran through the hospital toward the intensive care section. They finally found Misato standing in the hallway outside of one of the rooms, rubbing her cross pensively across her lips and frowning at the floor.  
  
"Misato!" Asuka gasped, "Is he ok?"  
  
Misato looked up, "No..." she whispered, "he's not." She let out a shuddery breath, "He's alive, but..." She pointed to an observation window.  
  
Rei and Asuka approached it slowly, a feeling of dread filling them.  
  
"Shinji..." Rei gasped as she looked in. Shinji lay amidst a complicated array of machinery, a large bandage around his head and his right leg raised up over the bed.  
  
"He's asleep right now..." Misato said quietly, still looking at the floor, "he... didn't suffer any internal injuries... but he was hit on the head pretty hard." She looked up, and Asuka was surprised to see the empty look in her eyes, "They don't know... how his mind was affected. They didn't see any damage when they..." she choked on the words, "patched the hole in his skull... but... but..." she could not contain herself anymore.  
  
As Misato collapsed upon the floor and wept, Rei stood still, watching Shinji's chest rise and fall slowly. Suddenly, all of her thoughts from earlier that morning seemed so trivial. Asuka's mood swings, which were probably just that, seemed so far away and unimportant.  
  
Her heart clenched as she remembered her other train of thought. She put a hand on the glass, a solitary tear running down her cheek as she realized she might now never get the chance to talk to him about their relationship... or even talk to him about ANYTHING again. "I love you... Shinji..." she whispered, staring at his still form. "Come back to me... I still have so much to learn..."  
  
Unobserved, Rei cried silent tears for her stricken love, wishing she had told him just once more... that she loved him.  
  
Continued...  
  
  
Author's notes: to clarify the title - it is a reference to Rei's hair and eye color. When I began to write the story, I was going to have it be Crimson and Cobalt, in reference to Rei's and Shinji's eye color respectively - but the title sounded stupid, so I changed it to be solely a reference to Rei, since she was the focus and the reason behind the lessons anyway.  
  
And I'll try not to make it so long before the next chapter... in fact, I'll go write a few paragraphs now! :)  
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com  
  



	9. Duet

Disclaimer: see part 1  
  
Part 9  
Duet  
By Random1377  
  
Rei sat quietly by Shinji's bedside and stared at his impassive face. -Why will you not awaken?- she thought sadly, -It has been two days now...-  
  
Her right hand was clasped firmly around his, gently wrapping her slender fingers around his unresponsive ones. In her free hand she clutched a small box. 'It was in his hand when they found him...' Misato had said as she handed it to Rei. 'He... he must have been looking at it when he...' she had broken off, unable to finish.  
  
She looked at the box once more, wondering what it contained. She was sure that he intended it for her (reasonably sure, anyway), but she dared not open it without him offering it to her. She felt that would be... improper.  
  
The doctors had told her that she should talk to him because, even though it may not seem like it, he could hear her. She spoke softly to him, "Shinji... I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I am supposed to talk to you. I do not know what to talk to you about, so I will tell you of our homework assignment for..."  
  
She trailed off, realizing how impersonal she sounded. -This is the one I love...- she thought with some reproach, -I should speak of something personal...-  
  
She began again, "Shinji... please return to me..." she waited, though why she did she was uncertain, as she knew he would not reply. "I... you make me happy, Shinji..." she whispered, "something I thought I could never be... and I am grateful to have you in my life."  
  
She stared down at his hand, "I know that you would like to... do more than kiss, Shinji... and when you wake, perhaps we will." She looked back to his face, "But be gentle with me... I... it scares me when you hold me tight... I am afraid that... that you may hurt me."  
  
She stopped, looking at him carefully, -Is that what I fear?- she thought. What exactly she had been afraid of, she had not thought about up until then. She had only known that she WAS scared when he kissed her that way.  
  
She rested her head on his stomach, feeling each softly drawn in breath, "Perhaps I am most scared that you will not stop if I ask you to... I know that you are gentle, Shinji... but I have seen rage in you also." She kissed his hand, "I do not want to feel your rage, only your love, so please... please be gentle with me... and come back to me. I... miss you..."  
  
She drifted off to sleep, and dreamed of Shinji holding her tight... and of being unafraid.  
  
When she woke, she found herself lying in the bed next to Shinji's. Asuka was sitting where she had been... and holding his hand. "Pilot Souryu?" Rei whispered tiredly. Asuka gave a surprised yelp and pulled her hand away quickly.  
  
Her shock was quickly masked with indifference, "Oh, you're awake... well, I hope you had a nice nap, Misato had to pick you up off the floor, you know."  
  
Rei blinked, -Was I so tired I did not wake when I fell to the floor??- she didn't doubt the redhead, but she was still stunned that it was true... of course, she had only slept two hours in the last two days, so it was inevitable that her body would eventually shut down.  
  
Rei climbed off the bed and rubbed her eyes. -I wonder how long I slept?- looking around she thought that it could not have been TOO long, because it was still light out... though the light was fading. She guessed that it must be evening, -Perhaps it was longer than I thought...-  
  
"Rei..." Asuka surprised her by using her first name, "what's in the box?" she tilted her head to the nightstand, where the box in question was currently sitting.  
  
"I... do not know." She admitted, "I do not wish to open it until he presents it too me..." she looked at the floor, "I am not even be certain that it is for me..."  
  
Asuka laughed. Rei's head came up fast, noting with some alarm the barest hint of madness in the girls voice... or perhaps she had imagined it? "Oh... it's for you alright..." she winked, "you're his geliebten." She looked at the box, again serious, "Do you think he was going to ask you to marry him?" the word 'marry' trembled a bit as it came from her mouth.  
  
Rei's eyes widened, "I... do not believe so..." -Would he? We are so young...- she found that she was terribly off balance. "We... I do not think that he would propose marriage to me..."  
  
Asuka smiled, "Oh, I think he would... maybe not yet, but he's the marrying kind..." she looked at him, the smile disappearing. She reached out and traced the curve of the boy's jaw with a fingertip, "Oh yes... he's the kind to stay with one person forever..." She shook herself and drew her hand away as if his skin had burned her, throwing Rei an uncertain look... as if she was somehow causing her unease.  
  
Rei met her eyes, "Is there something wrong, Pilot Souryu?" -Yes, there is... isn't there?- she thought, sure that something was VERY wrong with the Second Child... but uncertain of what it might be, or how (or even IF) she should help.  
  
"Nothing at all," Asuka smiled suddenly, "I have to get to school now, bye-bye." She stood abruptly and left the room without another word.  
  
"School?" Rei echoed, looking at the fading daylight, "But it is evening..."  
  
**  
  
The remainder of the evening passed quickly, but since Rei had slept so long in the day (ten hours, she found upon checking the time) she was unable to sleep. So she sat by Shinji's bedside and thought about what she would say to him when he woke up.  
  
She was mentally composing her fifty-sixth greeting when a soft beep emanated from one of the systems at Shinji's bedside and his eyes fluttered open, instantly banishing all of her carefully prepared words. He tried to speak, but the tube down his throat made it impossible.  
  
"Shh..." she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears, "it's ok..." she knew that his awakening would bring the nurses and doctors in short order, but she wanted to be the first person he saw. "Shinji... do you know where you are?"  
  
His eyes cast around the room, and he nodded slowly. She smiled at him, "Do you... know who I am?" she held her breath, hoping against hope. He stared at her in silence, then smiled around the tube and nodded again, turning his hand over to take hers and giving a feeble squeeze.  
  
Her breath came out in a shuddery rush, "Oh I am so glad..." she leaned down and kissed the corner of his mouth, hearing the door open behind her, "I will stay with you," she whispered as the doctors came into the room, "until you get better, I will stay at your side..." he smiled again and gave her hand another squeeze.  
  
Then Rei was gently moved to the side by an orderly as the doctors began to examine Shinji for any lingering traces of damage to his mind. After removing the tube (which made Shinji gag and choke) they asked him a series of questions, testing his long and short-term memory. What is your birthday? June six, two thousand and one. Who is your commanding officer? Misato Katsuragi. What was your first cello teacher's name? Ilperazzo, he was Italian... we didn't get along.  
  
More questions followed, and then they examined his body, making sure everything was in order. After two hours of mental and physical examination, the doctors were satisfied. They left with a final admonition to Rei, "He needs rest... so don't do anything to increase his blood pressure, ok?"  
  
The head doctor winked as he left, -Why does everyone assume that we are intimate?- Rei thought to herself, frowning. She turned to find Shinji staring at her intently. He motioned for her to come to him, which she did willingly, sighing as his arms came around her waist.  
  
"Hi," he whispered, his voice hoarse from disuse and the tube that had helped him breathe.  
  
"Hi..." she echoed, holding him gently as she sat on his bed, her head resting on his shoulder.  
  
He ran his hands idly through her hair for a moment, then put a finger under her chin and raised her face. He kissed her... and all of Rei's fears resurfaced. She was glad to have him back, but the way he kissed her sent unpleasant chills down her spine. Though the doctor had told her to let him rest, she had to talk to him... she had to know what he was thinking when he kissed her that way.  
  
"Shinji?" she said as she pulled away, "I... need to ask you something..."  
  
"What is it?" he rasped, touching her cheek gently.  
  
"You would never... hurt me, would you?" she blushed as she spoke, "When you kiss me, you... hold me so tight... I get scared." She looked at him pleadingly, "You would not... force me to do anything... would you?"  
  
Shinji looked at her in shock, not even knowing how to address her. -She's... she's scared I might rape her!- his mind could hardly get around the idea. He thought of how he held her as they kissed... how he held her tight because he was afraid she might suddenly leave... how he kissed her so desperately because, deep down, he was afraid each kiss might be their last.  
  
His voice became even rougher sounding as he fought back tears, "Rei... I would never, EVER force you to something you didn't want to... I..." he broke off and pulled her tightly against him, "I love you..." he whispered against her ear, "no... I would never hurt you..."   
  
She sighed deeply in relief, wondering how she could have thought him capable of doing anything to harm her. "Shinji?" she whispered as he held her, "There is... something else..."  
  
"What is it?" he asked, tensing as he held her.  
  
She leaned back and pressed her lips to his, calming his fears. She rested her forehead against his, "I would like... for you to touch me..." she whispered, "I would like you to touch me as a man touches a woman."  
  
He swallowed. Wanting to make sure he understood EXACTLY what she was saying, he said, "Are you asking me to... make love to you, Rei?"  
  
She closed her eyes, her breath tight in her chest, -Even just hearing the words pleases me...- she thought, -maybe...- "No," she said quietly, shaking off the thought, "not yet..." she opened her eyes and smiled, kissing him again, "I just want to have you touch me... here..." she put her hand on her chest.  
  
His eyes increased in size as the doctor's order about his blood pressure went straight out the window. "Are... are you sure?" he said, unable to move his gaze from her hand... and what lay beneath.  
  
She nodded, "I want to feel..." she stopped and looked into his eyes, gently taking his hand and moving it to where hers had been, "I want to feel." She said simply.  
  
Shinji forgot to breath as he touched her through her ever-present school shirt. He looked at her, afraid to move. "R-Rei... you don't... have to do this just because I'm in here..."  
  
She looked surprised, "I... am not." The thought of allowing him to touch her out of pity seemed a foreign concept to her, "I am doing it because I want to progress our relationship, and this is 'the second base'... is that not correct?"  
  
Shinji's jaw fell open, "Rei, who have you been talking too?"  
  
"Asuka..." she replied innocently, "why?"  
  
"What else did she tell you, Rei?" Shinji frowned, afraid of the response.  
  
"Well, she told me all of the bases... and she told me about 'going down'," she frowned slightly, "though it does not sound pleasant to me, I would be willing to try if-"  
  
"Rei," he cut her off, smiling slightly, "forget what Asuka told you, ok?"  
  
"But-" she was confused. The redhead had seemed so sure of just how everything should go... had even offered Rei a timetable on one of her 'friendly' days (Rei had politely declined).  
  
Shinji shook his head, then winced, remembering that he was hurt. "You don't need a map or a plan for a relationship... you just need to let it happen." He leaned forward, "Like this..." he gently kissed her, then kissed her chin... then moved down to her neck, and kissed down the side to where her shoulder and neck met.  
  
"Oh!" she said quietly, putting her hands on his shoulders, "I... see."  
  
Shinji removed his hand, and instead wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on top of him, kissing her slowly. As they kissed, neither one of them was aware of the redheaded girl watching from the doorway... or of the lost, hungry look in her crystalline blue eyes as she quietly slid the door closed.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: Yes, yes... I know... I can't stretch sadness for more than a chapter or two. Fine, so I go for the happy ending whenever I can... call it a character flaw (feel better now, Kimberly? ;) ) What's in the box? And WHAT is going on in Asuka's mind? Next chapter... next chapter... :)  



	10. Broken strings

Disclaimer: see part 1  
  
Part 10  
Broken strings  
By Random1377  
  
Rei helped Shinji out of the blue Alpine slowly, taking great care to avoid hitting his head on the roof of the vehicle. "Watch out," she said in her quiet voice, "I do not wish you to return to the hospital so soon."  
  
Shinji smiled as he got his crutch under his arm, "Thanks Rei..." He looked up at the apartment building. Though it had only been two weeks since he was last here, it felt like an eternity.  
  
He looked at Rei and smiled, watching her blue hair flutter in the light breeze. He looked down, his smile widening as the late-afternoon sun glittered off of gold. He thought back to the day he had awoken to find Rei waiting for him.  
  
'I have something for you Rei,' he had said, reaching carefully for the box on the nightstand.  
  
'It is not a wedding ring, is it Shinji?' Rei had asked, slightly hesitant.  
  
He had almost fallen out of the bed, 'What?'  
  
She steadied him, 'Pilot Souryu felt certain that you were going to propose marriage to me... are you, Shinji?'  
  
Shinji had tried to read her expression, but had finally given up. He had shaken his head slowly, 'No, Rei... I wasn't...' he had smiled, 'at least, not yet... we're a bit young, don't you think?'  
  
The reaction that had flown across the girl's face was an almost comical mixture of relief and anger... the later directed at the redhead pilot who thought she knew so much.  
  
Shinji had watched the look pass over her face, catching the barest hint of disappointment mixed in as well. 'I'm sorry, Rei,' he had said, meeting her eyes, 'maybe some day, I-'  
  
She had waved his apology away, 'You do not have to feel bad... I will wait...'  
  
Shinji had nodded slowly, smiling, 'Good... and I'll wait for you...'  
  
Now he looked down at the pin he had given her - a gold cello with silver strings and a single pearl at the head. He remembered how her eyes had lit up upon seeing it, all thoughts and concerns of marriage flying away. 'It is beautiful!' she had cried, nearly killing him as she threw her arms around his neck, 'Thank you!'  
  
"Come," she said, offering her arm to him, "I will help you get inside."  
  
He took her arm, "Misato? Will you be ok getting the bags?" he asked over his shoulder.  
  
Misato looked at the single suitcase, already in her hand, "I don't know, Shinji... might be too much for me." She smiled.  
  
As they opened the door to the apartment, Rei let Shinji go and step threw unaided. He was nearly knocked down by Asuka, who threw her arms around him and cried, "Shinji! I'm so glad you're home!!"  
  
Everyone stared at her. "What?" she said, releasing him, "Can't I be happy that my fellow pilot is ok?"  
  
Misato shrugged, "Whatever, Asuka..." she stepped past the three, not noticing Rei's small frown, "I have a lot of work to catch up on, you kids order something for dinner, k?"  
  
"I already made something," Asuka said happily. Everyone stared again, "WHAT!?" She screamed in frustration, "I'm not an idiot! I can do things sometimes! And it's GOOD, so EAT!!!"  
  
They ate. And to her credit, it WAS pretty good...  
  
**  
  
After dinner, Shinji sat in his room while Asuka and Rei cleaned up (Misato had almost had to drag him bodily away from the dirty dishes).  
  
"So, First," Asuka said as they washed dishes together (an odd sight, to anyone that had seen the two the month before last), "it's getting kind of late, shouldn't you start heading home? Or is Misato going to give you a ride?"  
  
"I will not be going home," Rei replied quietly, "I promised Shinji that I would stay at his side until he recovered."  
  
The dish Asuka was holding hit the floor, shattering into five pieces, "You... you have to go home, Rei..." she said, her voice bordering on hysterical, "you have to!"  
  
The pleading in her voice confused Rei, "I... cannot leave him. I said I would remain by his side... I did not lie."  
  
"HA!" Asuka laughed once, a harsh, barking sound, and ran her hands through her hair, looking at the broken dish on the floor. When she looked up, her face was a perfect mask of serenity, "So you'll be staying a while?" she said lightly, "Since Shinji is sick, I'll go get some sheets for you to sleep on the couch then."  
  
Rei watched her turn and walk away, humming as she went, then set down the dish she was drying and went to the living room. "Major Katsuragi?" she said quietly, "I think... that something is wrong with Pilot Souryu..."  
  
Misato looked up from the stack of papers she had surrounding her with a tired smile, "Yes, she's kind of arrogant, I know..." she bent her head back to the papers, "But other than that, she's a pretty decent girl. Better cook than I thought, too."  
  
"No," Rei said quietly, "I meant that she may be..." she looked over her shoulder, "unwell."  
  
Misato set down her pen carefully, "Rei... Asuka had a complete psychiatric evaluation after the incident with the fifteenth angel. It was completely normal."  
  
Rei frowned, "I... still feel that something is... not right."  
  
Misato rubbed the bridge of her nose, "I'm sure it's just stress over this whole Shinji thing... don't worry about it, I'm sure she'll be fine. Now please, I have a lot of work to get done... can we talk about it tomorrow?"  
  
Rei nodded, "Yes... I am sorry to bother you, Major..."  
  
**  
  
In her room, Asuka was still smiling and humming as she gathered a set of sheets from a shelf in her closet.  
  
Only an attentive listener would have noticed that she had been humming the same two bars of the same song since she had left the kitchen... and only a highly skilled psychiatrist would have spotted the dull, lifeless look in her eyes - a look which did not reflect the smile on her face... or any emotion whatsoever. Asuka Langley Souryu was quite skilled at hiding her true emotions.  
  
She turned from the closet, sheets in hand, and looked around her room. Her mask suddenly fell away, revealing her true face - a face torn by confusion, hunger, and need...a need she could not explain, but found focus in a single name: Shinji.  
  
She collapsed onto the floor, her eyes suddenly filling with tears, "She has to leave here..." she whispered to herself as the sheets slipped from her fingers, "she has to..."  
  
She looked around her once-tidy room, only vaguely disgusted at how messy it had become since the angel had invaded her mind. She rose to her feet and laughed abruptly, "Maybe Shinji can help me clean... he's always... always so good at... at..." she paused in mid-sentence staring into space, then shook herself and finished as if nothing had happened, "everything..."  
  
Picking up the sheets, she took a deep breath. Then, smiling and humming as her mask slid back into place, she went to give Rei her sheets.  
  
**  
  
Shinji watched Rei as she slept. She had talked to him for hours, sitting on the end of his bed, and had finally laid her head on her folded arms and closed her eyes.  
  
After she had been silent for a few minutes, Shinji whispered, "Rei, I need to tell you something." He took a deep breath, "I have no idea how long our relationship will last..." he shook his head sadly, "who knows? Maybe you'll see what a weak boy I truly am and leave me for someone else who is better..." he touched her cheek gently, "but even if that happens, even if you leave me tomorrow, know this, Rei: my feelings for you will never change... no matter what happens, I will always love you."  
  
He watched her for another moment, and then slowly closed his own eyes, thinking as he did of other things he could never bring himself to say to her if she was awake.  
  
As the sound of Shinji's deep, even breathing filled the room, Rei's eyes slowly rolled open. A tear slid down her cheek as she sat up to look at him, his words echoing in her mind.  
  
Careful not to disturb him, she eased forward so that she was lying next to him and gently kissed his cheek, making him smile and murmur something she could not understand. She hesitated for a moment, torn between staying and going to sleep on the couch... then, remembering his words, she brought her head slowly down to settle into the crook of his arm.  
  
Feeling that everything was as it should be, she sighed happily. "And I will always love you, Shinji... I will not ever find anyone better..." she said softly against his side, feeling the smooth rise and fall of his chest under her arm.  
  
Listening to his heartbeat, she fell into a deep, comfortable sleep - never noticing the soft smile that had appeared on his face as she had spoken... or his arms coming up to encircle her as she slept.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: Ok, I take NO CREDIT for Shinji's monologue as he watched Rei 'sleep'. The concept of him talking to her and her being awake, and most of the body of this little speech, was e-mailed to me by Eliar Swiftfire... so thanks for that! (I told you I'd work it in :)). Other than that - things are about to get a bit bumpy... hang on.  
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com  
  



	11. Echoes, part 1: Echoes of madness.

Disclaimer: see part 1. Also, this story has a slight trace of lemon (more of a lemony-fresh scent than anything else) not nothing too bad.  
  
Part 11  
  
Echoes, part 1: Echoes of madness  
  
By Random1377  
  
Asuka Langley Souryu was insane. Of this fact Rei had no doubt, but she could not convince anyone else. Misato waved her odd behavior away as nothing more than stress, and Shinji saw nothing at all out of the ordinary (she could not fault him for that, though... Asuka was being friendly to him, and Shinji clung to any scrap of affection that came his way without question.)  
  
Now, a week after she had begun sleeping at the small apartment (on the couch - sleeping in Shinji's bed had not lasted past the first morning) she was faced with a dilemma. Shinji was asleep, and she needed to refill his pain medication prescription... which would leave him alone with Asuka.  
  
"Don't worry, Wondergirl," Asuka said, pushing her towards the door, "I'm a big girl, I can bring him his lunch if he wakes up while you're gone."  
  
-It is not his lunch that I am concerned about,- Rei thought. But she realized that she had no choice. Shinji's leg was healing nicely, but he still got bad headaches. The doctors explained that this was due to the loss of spinal fluid, and assured them that the problem should clear up once his body recovered fully... which could take a few weeks.  
  
At the door she spoke quietly, not turning around, "I will be back soon. Do not... disturb him, Pilot Souryu."  
  
Asuka giggled, "Now whatever can you mean, First Child?" she pushed Rei the rest of the way out the door and let it slide closed.  
  
Rei stood undecided for a moment. -Why did I not just have her go?- she thought suddenly. She raised her hand to the door, then let it fall back again, "I told Shinji that I would do this for him..." she whispered, "I do not wish to lie..."  
  
On the strength of that one, misguided conviction, Rei Ayanami turned and walked away from the apartment... never knowing just how much the decision would cost her.  
  
**  
  
Asuka leaned against the door and looked around the apartment, "Now where to begin?" she whispered, her eyes sparkling with glee, "Should I make him lunch? Or maybe clean up a bit?" she giggled again, covering her mouth with her hand.  
  
Her expression dropped into a semi-serious frown, "'Now don't you go disturbing that boy, Asuka!'" she intoned, shaking a finger, "'He needs his rest!'" Her face fell into a blank stare for a moment.  
  
Shaking herself, Asuka walked through the apartment slowly, "No... he doesn't need rest... he needs comfort," she whispered to herself, slowly taking her clothes off as she moved through the apartment.  
  
She paused at his door, frowning as a vague concern tickled the back of her consciousness.  
  
"I'm not crazy..." she whispered as she thought of the aftermath of the fifteenth angel. In her mind's eye she could see herself telling Shinji to go be with Rei... but the vision was cloudy, "Was that... me? Did I say that?" She shook her head, trying to clear it, "Why would I let go of the man I love?"  
  
She stood still for a moment, her head tilted to one side as a desperate fight was waged in her mind - her old, stable personality struggling desperately to overthrow the fractured, crafty one that had taken its place.  
  
As the silent battle drew to its conclusion, Asuka smiled and opened the door to Shinji's room.  
  
**  
  
Shinji's dream was filled with heat. He envisioned himself trying to escape a burning building, only to find his every escape route cut off. To make matters worse, he was carrying Rei in his arms. Blood was running from a cut on her head, and she was unconscious.  
  
"Someone help!" he screamed, hoping that his voice could reach the outside.  
  
"Shinji?" he looked down to find Rei smiling up at him, "It's alright, Shinji..." she drew his lips down to hers and kissed him, "just be with me and everything will turn out ok... I love you, Shinji..."  
  
"I love you too, Rei..." he said. Suddenly the building was gone and they were lying in a sun-dappled glade. Rei lay on top of him, her clothes gone.  
  
"Make love to me, Shinji..." she whispered, kissing him soundly, "I want to feel you..."  
  
As she drew his shirt up over his head, he grimaced in pain. "Be careful of my bandage..." -Bandage?- he reached up and touched his head, -When did I get hurt?-  
  
Rei slowly disappeared, replaced by darkness. He knew he was awake, because the pain in his head and leg returned... but the feel of the kiss and the heat remained.  
  
-What's going on?- he thought, -Rei? She's never been this bold before...- he grinned mentally, -maybe she read sleeping beauty and decided to reenact the ending... though I'm not exactly beautiful.-  
  
Keeping his eyes closed, he brought his arms up and held her closer to him. "Oh, Shinji..." she moaned quietly, "I knew you loved me..."  
  
Every mental alarm that Shinji possessed sounded immediately, -Rei's voice isn't that deep...- he thought, then he felt the weight on his chest, -and her breasts aren't that big...- His eyes flew open and he pulled back in shock, "Asuka?!?"  
  
"Mmmm..." she sighed, "isn't this nice?" she whispered, "Now we can be together forever."   
  
Before his mind could process what was happening, she grabbed his hand and brought it to her naked breast, "Isn't this better than Rei?" she said with a smile, "I want you, Shinji... I want you right now..." she reached beneath the covers and ran her hand down his stomach towards the zipper to his pants.  
  
"ASUKA!" he yelled sitting up and pushing the girl to the side, "AAAHHHH!!" he clasped his hands to his head, instantly regretting his sudden movements.  
  
"Oh, honey..." Asuka said, "you should be more careful... you're hurt." She sat up at his side, pressing her body against his, "let me make you feel better..." She leaned forward to kiss him again.  
  
"NO!" he yelled, getting to his feet. The pain in his head flared brighter, sending him to his knees with another cry.   
  
"What's the matter," she said in a concerned voice, "ohh... you're head hurts?" she rose and walked towards him, running her hands down her body, "Let me help you forget the pain." She whispered, "We should hurry, though... that other girl should be back with your medicine, and I would hate for her to see us being intimate..." she pushed him gently onto his back and straddled his hips.  
  
Fighting the pain, Shinji gasped, "Asuka, what are you doing?"  
  
She slowly began unbuttoning his shirt, "Making love to my husband."  
  
Her statement cut through his haze like a knife, "Your... husband?"  
  
She nodded happily, "Yes... we've been together since the last angel attacked and you saved me." She smiled, her eyes growing unfocussed as she pictured a memory that never was, "You said that you loved me... and after the angel attack you told me you couldn't wait any more, so we got married." She smiled blissfully.  
  
"Asuka," he tried sit up again, but the pain was too great and he slumped back, "we're not married... you told me to go be with Rei, don't you remember?"  
  
"Rei?" she looked puzzled, "Oh, honey... you must have been hurt worse than I thought!" She shook her head and patted his cheek, "If I would ever tell you to be with someone, it would never be her... she's just another pilot, she doesn't even HAVE feelings."  
  
The ringing in Shinji's ears rose to a wail, "But... you said I was just... a friend..." he managed to get out.  
  
Finally, the pain overwhelmed him and he blacked out.  
  
"Pity..." Asuka murmured, leaning forward to kiss her 'husband', "guess I'll just have to have you while you're sleeping."  
  
She had just finished drawing his pants off of him when the angel alarm sounded. She sighed, "I'll be back, honey, don't go anywhere." She kissed him once more and jumped to her feet, the look on her face shifting from loving to hating in less than a second, "Now I'm going to show that little blue-haired bitch how to fight angels!"  
  
She went to her room and put on her spare plugsuit, not wanting to waste any time, then dashed out the door and ran towards NERV as fast as she could, leaving Shinji where he lay.  
  
**  
  
"No, it is coming," Rei's whisper came over the speakers as the circular angel broke apart and became a solid bar of white light.  
  
On the screen, the angel drove through Unit 00's AT field and into the blue mecha, working its way slowly deeper as the monoptic machine writhed in pain.  
  
"Asuka!" Misato shouted, "Are you ready to go yet?"  
  
"Yes ma'am," Asuka said in a pleasant voice, "just waiting for the go-ahead." She began whistling.  
  
Misato frowned, -Maybe Rei was right...- she thought, -maybe there is something wrong with that girl.- She regretted not listing to the First Child the previous week, but knew that there was nothing to be done now. "Ok, once you reach the surface, spread your AT field and fire a volley into the target's back." To Maya she said, "Launch her on route two."  
  
"When she gets back I want another psyche work up." She said to Ritsuko as they watched the red behemoth shoot towards the surface.  
  
As Unit 02 came to a halt at ground level it stepped swiftly out of the elevator and swung its rifle around, firing a sustained burst... into Unit 00.  
  
"Asuka what the hell are you doing!?!" Misato yelled.  
  
Asuka's answer made her blood run cold, "I'm destroying the enemy... that was what I was supposed to do, right?" her voice was cold as she dropped the empty rifle and grabbed another one, whispering, "Enemies have to die, right? Can't let them stand in the way..." She pulled the trigger on the giant rifle.  
  
"NO!!!" Misato screamed, "Damnit, eject her plug, now!"  
  
The back of Unit 02 blew away and the white capsule ejected in a rush of smoke and jet-fire.  
  
Asuka's mad laughter echoed through Central Dogma.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: I'm not a doctor (I don't even play one on TV), but I know that low levels of spinal fluid can cause headaches. Of course, I have NO idea what the repercussions of a head wound like Shinji's would really be, or how long it takes to recover spinal fluid (that's why it's called artistic license ;)) so if I'm all wrong - sorry.  
  
Oh, and sorry for the cliffhanger ending... I'll try and get the next two chapters up real soon.  
  
Thanks to Author X for pre-reading this one.  
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com  
  
  



	12. Echoes, part 2: Echoes of death

Disclaimer: see part 1  
  
Part 12  
Echoes, part 2: Echoes of death  
By Random1377  
  
Rei looked down at the bulging veins running the length of her body and wept. She wept for all that she had become... she wept for all that she must now lose... and she wept for the boy that she loved and would never see again.  
  
She felt the angel work itself deeper into her mecha, and herself, and she knew that time was short.  
  
"Tell Shinji that I love him, Major..." she whispered, pulling the red lever behind her pilot's seat, "tell him I love him more than I ever thought was possible... and tell him..." she gasped in pain as the angel possessed more of her, "tell him that I finally found my voice in him... and that I should have asked him to marry me instead of waiting for him to ask me..."  
  
"REI!" Misato screamed, unable to take her eyes off of the bullet-riddled Unit 00, "Rei, eject, NOW!" The small timer in the corner of the main monitor reached thirty seconds, -So little time...- she thought, "You can tell him all those things yourself... EJECT!!"  
  
"No..." Rei whispered, "if I eject, the AT field will disappear. This is the only way." The timer reached five, and Rei's voice became desperate, "Promise me that you will tell him Major, promi-"  
  
Unit 00 rose from the ground, reaching towards the sky as if it was grasping for something it lost... or something it was never allowed to have.   
  
A single tear ran down Misato's cheek, the first of many that would come that day, "I promise, Rei..." she sobbed, "I promise..."  
  
The world filled with light and sound as Unit 00 erupted in a column of fire... painting the afternoon sky an angry red with its brilliance.  
  
**  
  
Shinji awoke to a defining explosion, covering his ears as the entire building shook. "AHHHH!!!" He screamed, trying to cradle his injured head as the noise and force assailed his senses.  
  
Finally, the shockwave passed. He rose slowly to his feet, disoriented, and staggered to the window. He looked out, gasping at what he saw - half of Tokyo-3 was gone... only a smoking crater remained.  
  
"A-angel?" he whispered as the magnitude of the destruction slowly sank in. The city was burning, many of the structures that had survived the blast now smoking and charred. As he watched, the crater began filling with water from some underground source, apparently tapped by the explosion. "What... happened...?"  
  
His cell phone began ringing, "Hello?" he said, his voice shaky. He was astonished that the thing still worked.  
  
"Shinji, are you ok??" Misato sounded frantic, -Oh, God...- she thought, -Please don't let me lose all three...-  
  
"Yeah... I think so..." he said, holding his throbbing head, "What's happening?" his eyes cleared, "Is Rei ok?"  
  
Misato gasped, "Umm... don't move... I'm coming to get you." She looked at the destruction on the main screen, "It may take a little while, but I'll get there... DON'T MOVE."  
  
She hung up before her could repeat his question, "Ritsuko... deal with... with Asuka. I have to tell Shinji..."  
  
Ritsuko nodded as Misato ran out the door, then looked to Gendou.  
  
"Yes." He said simply, answering her unspoken question.  
  
She sighed, "Maya, give the order to retrieve the Second Child... I have to check the damage to Unit 00."  
  
"Check the damage?" Maya repeated, blinking, "But, ma'am-"  
  
"Do what you're told!" the blonde cut her off, -It's bad enough that I have to help... HER...- she thought with disgust, -but now I have to get lip from my subordinates?- she stormed out of the room, tapping a short sequence on her handheld link to the Magi, activating the power to a tank held deep beneath her feet.  
  
**  
  
Shinji fell to his knees, "Self... destruct?"  
  
Misato knelt beside him and put her arms around him, "Oh, Shinji... I'm so sorry..." Her soul was rent in two as she haltingly fulfilled her promise... telling Shinji all that Rei could not tell him herself.  
  
When she finished, Shinji just stared at the floor. "Misato?" he said finally, "Why did this have to happen? Why now... when I finally realized how much I loved her... why did she have to leave me now? And why can't I cry... I feel sad... but I can't cry."  
  
"She... she didn't leave you, Shinji..." Misato said, trying to contain her tears so that he would not have to see them, "she did it to save you... you were all that she cared about." She stroked his cheek tenderly, "And you can cry if you want to... it's ok... I'm here."  
  
He met her eyes, "Why was she taken?" he changed his question, "She was..." his breath hitched, "so good, Misato... better than me." His tears finally began to fall, "it should have been me... it should have been... me..."  
  
She wrapped her arms around him as he cried, soaking her shirt with his tears. She didn't bother trying to comfort him, as she knew that nothing she could say would help... so she just held him as he sobbed, his entire body shaking. After some time (she did not know how long) his sobs faded and finally became the deep sounds of sleep.  
  
Holding her charge as he slept, Misato Katsuragi indulged herself and wept quietly, hearing the echoes of Rei's softly spoken final words in her mind... echoes she would forever associate with death.  
  
**  
  
Slowly, she opened her eyes, "Where am I?"  
  
"You are in isolation tank number four-thirteen," a blonde woman answered her, "do you know who you are?"  
  
The girl blinked, "Yes..." she replied, "I am Rei Ayanami, the First Child, designated pilot of Evangelion Unit 00." This was a pre-programmed response to the question, triggered only by her voice or Gendou Ikari's.  
  
The woman nodded, "Rei, what is my name, and what is your last memory?"  
  
She thought for a moment, closing her eyes, "You are Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, head of Project E. My last memory is cloudy..."  
  
Ritsuko frowned, this was a bad sign. "Try and remember, Rei."  
  
"Yes..." the blue-haired girl stared into space for a moment, then spoke calmly, "My last memory is of the destruction of Evangelion Unit 03, re-designated as the thirteenth angel."  
  
Ritsuko gasped, -DAMN,- she thought, -she just came in for a memory dump last week... she should remember everything up until then.- She sighed, "Since your last memory..." She began wearily.  
  
After three hours of debriefing, she called Misato, -Well,- she thought as she hung up the phone, -I've done my good deed for the day.-  
  
She went back to her office to collect some papers, then started heading for home. She never noticed the man dressed in black that trailed her all the way to her front door... and she never had a chance to scream as the chloroform stole her consciousness away.  
  
**  
  
"She's alive!?!" Shinji screamed joyfully, "Can I see her?"  
  
Misato smiled happily, "Let's go!"  
  
As they drove to the NERV hospital, Shinji could hardly contain his excitement, and he practically knocked the attending nurse down as he dashed past her, barely using his crutch... and into his darkest nightmare.  
  
Rei sat calmly on her bed, barely acknowledging his entrance past a cool, "Hello, Pilot Ikari."  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks, a small grimace of pain crossing his face as the pain of the ill-advised run caught up with him and his head began to throb. -Pilot Ikari?- he thought, a little dizzily, -Maybe I heard her wrong...- "Umm... how do you feel, Rei?" he asked cautiously, looking at the bandage around her eye.  
  
"I am fine..." she said in a neutral voice. After a moment's silence she turned away, looking out the window of her room calmly.  
  
Shinji wasn't sure what to do, so he stepped closer to her bed, "Rei?" he said hesitantly, "Are you... sure you feel ok?" he broke into a smile, "Oh, and thanks, by the way..."  
  
"For what?" came the flat reply.  
  
He blinked, "You... destroyed Unit 00 to save everyone's life!"  
  
"I did?" she replied, "I do not remember..."  
  
He felt cold, "Rei... do you remember," he licked his lips, not wanting to ask the question, but feeling that he must know, "do you remember learning the cello?"  
  
She regarded him with her single, blank eye, "No, Pilot Ikari..." she said softly, "I do not recall any lesson's other than the ones for the instruments I play. I do not play the cello."  
  
Shinji felt as if a knife had been driven deep into his heart. He sat down in the chair next to her bed, "Do you remember..." he paused, taking her hand, "anything about... about us?" He held his breath.  
  
She looked at his hand, and then carefully pulled hers away, "No," she said flatly, "I do not." His face crumpled and he put a hand to his head. She looked at him, confusion showing as the first recognizable emotion she had displayed since he had come into the room, "I am sorry," she said quietly, "I can see that you are distressed, and I am the cause somehow. Please accept my apology."  
  
Her cold, impersonal words hit him like a hammer, and he finally broke. With a sob, he got to his feet and ran from the room as best he could. He staggered past a surprised Misato, ignoring her confused questions, and ran out into the deceptively bright, cheerful looking afternoon.  
  
**  
  
He wandered the streets of Tokyo-3 for hours, aimlessly traversing the city until he finally came to the edge of the lake created by the destruction of Unit 00.  
  
He looked out across the water, feeling somehow that it was less a lake... and more an oversized tombstone. The girl that he had left behind in the hospital was not Rei... at least, not HIS Rei. She had forgotten all that they had shared, and had left Shinji alone.  
  
How long he stood there, he did not know. But as the sun began to touch the horizon, he became aware of someone humming. He looked around and spotted a boy about his own age sitting on the shattered remains of a statue. He noted, with some bitterness, that it was a representation of an angel.  
  
"A song is a good thing, wouldn't you agree, Shinji Ikari?" The boy had a shock of white hair and deep, crimson eyes that made Shinji's heart ache for all that was lost in Rei, "It gives a sense of hope and the promise that things will get better."  
  
"Yeah," he muttered with a shrug, glad that he was able to talk without crying, "I guess so..." he frowned, "though it can also be a source of sadness, if it reminds you of something you had and then lost." He shifted uncomfortably on his crutch, wishing the boy would just leave him alone.  
  
The boy frowned, "Many things that appear lost are merely hidden." He countered, "Sometimes faith is all that is needed to restore them to plain sight."  
  
Shinji turned away, "Faith can fail..." he whispered, "what use is faith if it cannot protect the one's that you love?"  
  
The boy jumped down and approached him, "Faith alone can do nothing - it must be accompanied by action and will. Music is like faith that way, Ikari," he said as he drew near, "and it has the power to work miracles... if you let it."  
  
Shinji looked at him skeptically, "I don't think that faith or music can help the situation that I'm faced with." He said bitterly, "And how do you know my name?"  
  
"Everyone knows the name of the famous pilot of Evangelion Unit 01," the boy said simply, "besides, I need to know because I am like you." He extended his hand, smiling, "I am Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child."  
  
Shinji took his hand, but did not return the smile, "It's nice to meet you, Kaworu," he said, as politely as he could, "but I'm afraid you have come at a bad time."  
  
Kaworu nodded, "Yes... I know. The Second Child has been... institutionalized, correct?"  
  
Shinji nodded, "Yeah... and the First..." he choked slightly, recovering quickly, "the First is recovering from some injuries sustained in the last angel attack." He ended lamely.  
  
Kaworu nodded, "I see..." He looked out over the lake, "Are you a music fan, Shinji? I've always liked Beethoven myself..."  
  
Shinji wiped his eyes, "I used to like music..." he said quietly, "but I don't think it can offer me much now..."  
  
Kaworu nodded, "I understand that it seems that way, but don't give up hope so easily, Shinji..." he put a hand on Shinji's shoulder, turning him gently to meet his eyes, "For hope is all that anyone really has..." He squeezed the shoulder gently, "Trust me when I tell you that music can help. Even if it is only to provide comfort, it can always help... just let it."  
  
Giving a final smile, he turned to leave, "Remember my words, Shinji Ikari... and keep practicing your cello."  
  
Shinji stared out over the lake for some time before the Fifth Child's last words sank in. He turned around, looking for the boy, but found nothing.  
  
He stared at the statue of the angel with a deep frown on his face, "I never told him that I played cello..." he whispered.  
  
Continued...  
  
Author's notes: yes, I know this chapter and the last have been a little bit dark... but remember that it's always darkest before the dawn, and hang on for the next chapter. I'll try to get it out in the next couple days.  



	13. Echoes, part 3: Echoes of life

Disclaimer: see part 1  
  
Part 13  
Echoes, part 3: Echoes of life/Crescendo  
By Random1377  
  
"Shinji... Shinji?" Shinji opened his eyes and looked around.  
  
"Oh... hi Kaworu, what's up?" The red-eyed boy was standing over his bed, smiling.  
  
"I was wondering if you would like to join me for a movie," The Fifth Child said easily, "I am bored."  
  
Shinji looked away from his new-found friend, "I don't know... I don't really feel like going anywhere..."  
  
It had been a week since the destruction of Unit 00... and all of Shinji's dreams. Now all that remained was a water-filled hole in the ground and an empty-eyed copy of the girl he had loved.  
  
He closed his eyes as he remembered his initial meeting with Kaworu - and what Doctor Akagi had shown him in the depths of Terminal Dogma later that night. Row upon row of lifeless Reis now haunted his dreams.  
  
Even when he was awake he sometimes heard their death-cries.  
  
"Come on," Kaworu said lightly, grabbing Shinji's shirt and trying to pull him off the bed, "you have been moping around for a week now, you must break free, Shinji, before you are unable to let go of the past."  
  
Kaworu's speech pattern made Shinji think of Rei... another painful reminder of what was now gone. "I like the past," Shinji whispered, keeping his eyes closed as he pulled Kaworu's hand off of him, "the past is warm... and safe..."  
  
"The past is death, Shinji..." Kaworu answered softly, "you must not allow it to rule the present, or you will be dead too..."  
  
He realized that he no longer cared. "Go without me, Kaworu..." he said quietly, "I'm not very good company."  
  
Kaworu knelt by his bed, "Shinji..." he reached out and laid a hand on the Third Child's shoulder, "you must let it go... dwelling on was has been lost will not bring it back, it will only cause you to be lost yourself."  
  
"I don't CARE!" Shinji yelled, his eyes springing open as he frowned and sat up, knocking Kaworu's hand off of him, "Do you hear me? I don't WANT to live in he present, it has nothing -NOTHING- that I value!" he slumped back onto his bed, "I'd be better off dead..." he whispered sullenly.  
  
Kaworu stared at him in silence for a moment, his lips pursed. "I will go now, Shinji Ikari," he said gently, "prepare yourself for what you must do, and remember... I love you as if you were my own flesh..."  
  
Shinji looked at him, confused, as he rose and started from the room, "Wait..." he said, "where are you going?"  
  
Kaworu did not turn around, so Shinji could not see the tears on his cheeks, "I have a... promise I have to fulfill," he said smoothly, "you will see me soon... I know you will..."  
  
Shinji sat up, a sense of foreboding filling him, "Well..." he said, getting to his feet, "I'll go with you... then we can go to the movies."  
  
"No Shinji," Kaworu said, pausing with his hand on the door, "I must go alone," his heart clenched as he lied for the first and only time in his life, "I will... be back soon." He wiped his eyes and turned around, forcing a smile, "Shinji? When I get back will you... play your cello for me? I hear that you are very good... and you know that I like music. Will you?"  
  
"I..." Shinji felt that something was dreadfully wrong, but did not know what. He had not touched his cello since Rei - the current Rei - had brought it back to him, saying, 'I believe this is your property, Pilot Ikari...' in a flat, cold voice.   
  
He was proud that he had managed to wait until she left before crying.  
  
Now he merely nodded, "Sure Kaworu... I can play..." he forced a smile of his own, "Music offers hope, right?"  
  
Kaworu's smile became more genuine, and he turned away, "Yes, Shinji..." he whispered, "that is right... do not ever forget that."  
  
"How long will you be gone?" Shinji could not shake the feeling that his friend was keeping something from him. "Kaworu, what's wrong?"  
  
His friend was shaking slightly, "Nothing, Shinji... but you will know when it is time to see me again, for the heavens will open and the angels will sing..." He strode quickly from the room before Shinji could think of what to say.  
  
An hour later, Kaworu's signal to Shinji that it was time was sounded... not by a chorus of angels, but by the strident tones of the angel alarm...  
  
**  
Shinji sat in the entry plug, unable to move. "Kaworu?" he said, trying to digest what Misato had just told him, "An angel?"  
  
"You have to stop him, Shinji..." she said, keeping her voice level only through supreme effort, "you're the only one that can. Unit 00 is gone, and we can't find Rei to pilot... so it has to be you... I'm sorry."  
  
Shinji tried to protest, "But... he's my friend, and I-"  
  
"It doesn't matter!" she screamed, finally losing her composure, "He's an ANGEL! You have to stop him, and you have to do it NOW!"  
  
Shinji bowed his head, refusing to cry, "I understand..." He took the control yokes in his hands - ignoring the pain in his leg and head - and pushed forward, willing Unit 01 into motion...  
  
**  
  
Alone in the apartment, and alone in his heart, Shinji wept. With his eyes closed, he drew the bow across the cello's strings slowly, feeling each note resonate in him.  
  
'Music is like faith that way, Shinji,' he could hear Kaworu's voice echo in his mind... an echo of a life now fled.  
  
He ignored the tears running down his face, concentrating instead on placing his fingers correctly on the strings, and drawing the bow with the correct rhythm.   
  
-Asuka...- he thought, picturing her in the small cell he had seen earlier that day... raving and struggling against the intern that tried to hold her. He thought her eyes had cleared for a moment when she saw him watching through the small observation window - and even imagined that she had spoken his name... but then she had bitten the man holding her and screamed so loud that it came through the soundproof wall. He had finally turned away, unable to watch any more. The doctors told him there was little hope of the redhead ever recovering, 'It would take a miracle...' one of them had told him softly, refusing to meet his eyes. He didn't think that miracles were very free flowing in Heaven these days.  
  
-Rei...- he thought of the blue-haired girl for probably the one-hundredth time that hour. He pictured her lying on top of him, begging him to love her instead of Asuka. He pictured her smiling as he pinned the small silver and gold cello to her shirt. He heard her whispering 'I love you...' a hundred different times. He thought back to their lessons, and her gradual improvement to the point that he became extraneous. And he thought of her now dead red eyes, formerly so full of life and love.  
  
-Kaworu...- finally he let his mind run over the last on his short list of friends. Kaworu, telling him that faith could overcome. Telling him that what was lost was often just hidden. Telling him that Rei would never be the way she was if he did not believe in her. And finally, him trapped in Unit 01's fist, telling him that there was no other way to reach him... and that unless Shinji took his life, everyone would die - including Rei - and that no matter what she was now, she was still his student, and he had an obligation to protect her.  
  
He found that his fingers wouldn't move anymore... he opened his eyes, looking at his frozen hands with blurry eyes. -I can't even take refuge here,- he thought, -nothing makes me feel better.-  
  
He took his fingers off the instrument and stood with a disgusted sigh. He was about to set the bow down when he looked up... and found Rei standing at the entrance to the room.  
  
She spoke quietly, "Hello."  
  
"Hello, Ayanami..." he said, fighting the urge to pull the girl to him, "what can I do for you?"  
  
"I have been ordered by Major Katsuragi to take up residence here while Pilot Souryu is hospitalized." She answered calmly.  
  
Shinji felt like he had been punched, "L-live here...? You're going to... live here?!" -How can this get worse??- he thought miserably. She showed him  
  
"Yes... and I have been further ordered to remain in close contact with you..." she met his eyes levelly, "for your protection."  
  
-Oh... oh that's just GREAT!- he thought angrily, -They think I'm going to kill myself... and they've sent this... this... husk to watch over me!- He wiped his eyes quickly, trying to make light of the situation. "Well..." he began as evenly as he could, "since you'll be here for a while, would you like something to drink?"  
  
She was staring at his cello with a mild look of interest, "Yes..." she answered absently, "that would be nice..."  
  
He nodded, "I'll be right back." He walked past her, trying his best not to look at her, and went into the kitchen to get a drink for her.  
  
-What the HELL is Misato thinking!?- He thought as he took a soda from the fridge, "I...wasn't going to try to kill myself..." he whispered.  
  
Even to his own ears, the lie sounded hollow.  
  
When he came back into the living room he almost dropped the drink on the carpet, "Ayanami... why are you sitting there?"  
  
Rei looked up from where she had been peering down at the cello resting against her shoulder, "You... did not seem to be enjoying it and I wanted to see what it was like... I am sorry." She began to get up.  
  
"That's... that's ok," he said, "really..." the sight of her holding the polished wood in her hands made him feel like crying, -Why...- he thought sadly, -why was she taken from me?-  
  
"May I... try your instrument, Pilot Ikari?" she asked softly.  
  
"Yeah... sure..." he whispered, handing her the bow.  
  
She took it, staring at it intently for a moment before laying it against the strings, "This feels... familiar..." she said quietly, "I have... done this before?" Shinji's eyes widened and he nodded  
  
"Will you... help me?" she asked, "I feel something... correct in all of this, but I cannot grasp it..."  
  
Shinji nodded, coming to stand behind her. "I'll... do the strings," he said, not letting himself dare to hope, "just draw the bow like..." -Like last time...- "just do what feels right..." he finished abruptly.  
  
She felt an odd sensation of... rightness as he stood behind her and laid his arm carefully over her shoulder. "What should I play?" she asked quietly.  
  
He wiped away a tear before it could get past his eyelid, "Play whatever you want... Ayanami..." he said quietly, -Don't...- he told himself, -don't get your hopes up... she's just curious about the instrument... she doesn't remember.-  
  
"May we play... Cello Suite number one?" she asked, hesitating over the title.  
  
His breath caught, "Ok..." he whispered.  
  
She closed her eyes, and drew the bow gently across the strings. The cello issued its soft, sweet tones as the two Children played in silence. Rei's mind filled with half formed images and emotions, each one more confusing than the last. The notes of the piece were like keys in a rusty lock... fitting - yet not quite turning.  
  
As they finished, Rei stood quietly and set the bow on the chair. As she stood, she felt Shinji reluctantly let his arm slide off of her shoulder. It made her feel... something. Something she could not quite remember.  
  
He sighed deeply and turned away. -Idiot...- he thought angrily, -it was just curiosity after all.-  
  
"I..." Rei sounded hesitant, "thank you for letting me try your instrument, Ikari." She turned to face him, "Will you please show me Pilot Souryu's room? It is where I will be staying..." Something... itched in the back of her mind, but she could not put her finger on it and it was making her uncomfortable.  
  
"Of course..." he said, swallowing a lump in his throat, -I really thought... maybe...- he shook his head, "come on..."  
  
**  
  
Shinji woke sometime in the middle of the night to an odd sound. He looked around groggily and sat up, trying to identify the source.  
  
After showing Rei to Asuka's room, he had called Misato... but she had been brief, refusing to explain why Rei was there and hurrying off the phone after telling him she would not be back until the next morning.  
  
He looked at his clock, -Two thirty?- he thought as he stood, "What the hell?" He walked yawning to the living room and stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
Rei was playing his cello.  
  
He watched as she drew the bow smoothly over the strings with her eyes closed, making the instrument sing quietly. He instantly recognized the tune: Namida... another that they had played together.  
  
-So beautiful...- he thought, as he watched her play. The moonlight streaming through the open window gave her skin an almost ethereal glow... and he had to struggle not to go to her and kiss her all over her pretty face.  
  
As she finished, she opened her eyes slowly and caught sight of him. She stood, setting the bow down, "Good evening..." she said softly.  
  
"Ayanami..." he said, blushing slightly, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... to..." -To what?- he thought, -It's not like I saw her undressing or anything...- But he still felt that he had intruded on something private.  
  
"It is not a problem," she said coolly, her back facing him as she lay the cello carefully against the chair, "I was unable to sleep, and I wanted to try to play again."  
  
"I'm glad..." he began with some difficulty, "I'm glad you remembered how... you sounded great." -Kaworu was wrong...- he thought bitterly, -music and faith mean nothing.-  
  
"It is a compliment to my instructor," she whispered, turning to face him, "he taught me many things."  
  
He frowned, "I thought you hadn't taken cello lessons?" he said in confusion.  
  
"I had not..." she admitted, "until I took them from you."  
  
His eyes widened, "R-Rei?" He found that he was short of breath, -No... it can't be...- his mind insisted.  
  
Her face broke into a radiant smile and she held her arms out to him, "Shinji..." she whispered in return.  
  
He stood his ground, refusing to let himself believe what his eyes were telling him. After a moment of silence, she let her arms down and stepped forward to stand before him, "You do not wish to hold me?" she asked. He thought he could detect a faint trace of... amusement in her voice.  
  
"I..." he began, searching her eyes, "I don't want to be... wrong." He whispered, his voice hoarse, "I don't want to hold you unless it's really... YOU."  
  
She smiled at his hesitation, "I only know of one way to convince you, Shinji..." she said calmly. She took him into her arms, pulling his lips down to hers.  
  
Shinji let go... all of the tension, fear, and uncertainty burst inside of him as she held him tight. He sobbed against her lips, embracing her as the strength went out of his legs and they sat down hard on the floor.  
  
She kept kissing him as he cried, gently running her hands over his face. "It is ok, Shinji..." she whispered, "I am here..."  
  
He could not answer her... his voice would not come, so he just held her gently, afraid she might break apart like a sweet dream if he squeezed her too tight. When he finally could speak, he just whispered her name over and over... making it a litany against the loneliness he had felt for the last week.  
  
She put her legs on either side of his stomach and pressed herself against his chest, wrapping her entire body around his. "Shinji..." she whispered, trying to calm him, "it is alright now... what is past is past." She kissed him tenderly, feeling her own tears run down her face and mingle with his.  
  
Finally his sobs wound down and he just held her... breathing in her scent and allowing his hands to travel over her body. "Why did Misato order you to come here?" he asked when he could finally speak without breaking down.  
  
She smiled, running her hands over his face as if she were re-familiarizing herself with his features, "It is an odd situation..." She whispered, trying to push herself tighter against him, "After Kaworu..." she hesitated, knowing that he had been close to Shinji, and then pressed on, "after his death, Misato found a note from him in her office."  
  
"What did it say?" Shinji asked, trying to contain his curiosity... not really sure he wanted to know, but unable to resist asking.  
  
Rei met his eyes steadily, "It was a short note asking the Major to have me move in with her." Shinji's jaw fell open, but she went on without pausing, "It said that you needed me... and that he promised you would be dead within a day if she did not comply."  
  
Shinji did not know what to say. He bowed his head, slowly admitting, "I was... thinking about killing myself..." he voice was very small, "I didn't see anything else for me here..."  
  
She stared at his downcast face for a minute, saying nothing. She knew better than to try and convince him the he had had much to live for - even without her... the look on his countenance told her loud and clear that he would not believe it, so instead she brought his face up and kissed it, whispering, "Do you see anything for you here now?" She bowed her head, "Even though you know what I am..." Misato had told her of the encounter with Ritsuko... though at the time she told her, Rei did not care.   
  
Now it meant everything.  
  
He put his finger under her chin and brought her eyes back up to meet his, nodding as fresh tears fell from his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was clear, "Yes... and I don't care what you are... I want you to be with me forever - I want you to marry me. Will you?"  
  
She touched his face gently, "I... do not think it would be a good idea, Shinji..."she whispered. Seeing his disappointment, she tried to explain. "The death of the last angel will not be the end," she said, pressing her forehead to his and looking deeply into his eyes, "there will be other trials and complications... I do not know what the future holds, and I do not want to give you false hope of a better tomorrow if I cannot guarantee it..."  
  
He kissed her softly, "I'm not asking you to guarantee anything..." he said as he pulled away, "all I'm asking is that you say you'll be mine." She frowned slightly, but he went on before she could speak, "I know that things may be hard..." he said softly, "but I think that we can be happy together... I know that I'm happy with you."  
  
"And I am happy with you," she said quickly, "but-" she didn't know what else to say, -How can I make him see that there are powers much greater than us at work? I could not bear it if I lost him... or caused him harm...- She shivered, even now feeling the call to fulfill her destiny.  
  
He held her close, "Rei... I love you..." he ran his hand over her cheek, "I want you to say yes... even if you say we have to wait until we're both thirty, I don't care... but I want you to say you'll be mine someday..."  
  
"I..." she finally nodded, seeing that he was not going to back down, "yes... I will marry you," she said softly, "in one year... I think that things will be safe then." She thought no such thing... in fact, she was unsure of what the next day would bring... but she wanted so much to see him happy. And she could not deny the fact that she WANTED to marry him... but she knew that she still had a part to play - the Commander had made sure that she knew her place.  
  
But for tonight... in his arms... with his smile to warm her... she allowed herself to believe that everything COULD be alright - if they were together.  
  
They said nothing further. They just held one another tightly, not afraid to let go - just unwilling... and kissed until late in the evening. As his eyes grew heavier, Shinji glanced at his bedroom, then back to Rei, arching an eyebrow. She shook her head and kissed him softly, answering him silently. He nodded and pulled her closer to him, resting his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes.  
  
They slept sitting up in the middle of the living room floor, uncomfortable with the position but comfortable with each other. They were totally unprepared to let go long enough to move to the bed and sadly unable to forget that there was still much to do... but still their sleep was sound and untroubled, as they knew that when they woke they would be together...  
  
  
Author's notes: ((dodging thrown bottles and rocks)) OK!! OK!! I'm sorry this chapter took so long! It was just really hard for me to figure out how to handle Kaworu's interaction with Shinji! And I'm sorry about the dark tone of the previous two chapters, but as I said before (and I don't know where this quote comes from - I take no credit for it): A story without conflict is just a collection of well put together words.  
  
Big time thanks to Ryan Xavier for pre-reading on this one and making some excellent suggestions (even used some of them ;)). Ryan's Shinji/Rei site can be found here: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei Thanks again, Ryan!  
  
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com  
  



	14. Hearken unto me, part 1: Deathcycle

Disclaimer: see part 1

Part 14

Hearken unto me, part 1: Deathcycle

By Random1377

Shinji sat in room three-oh-three and stared sadly at the girl lying still in the room's sole bed. "Asuka?" he whispered, "Can you hear me?"

The redhead made no reply, just continued to look blankly around the room. It was disconcerting to watch, as it appeared that she was taking in the scenery… but her eyes never rested, they just kept traveling around the room.

Shinji really didn't know what to say to her… and was unsure if she could hear even if he DID say something, so he began to talk about little things, "There was a… spider in the apartment the other day…" he said after clearing his throat, "I don't know if you knew it, but I hate spiders." He forced a laugh, "Misato had to kill it, because Rei wouldn't do it… she just said that it was no bother to her – even though I was standing on a chair like a little girl… pretty funny, huh?"

Nothing. Not so much as a pause as her head swung from side to side.

He shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable, "I've been sleeping on the couch…" he said quietly, "Rei's been sleeping in my room. Misato wanted to have her in yours, but I wouldn't let her." He leaned forward suddenly "Asuka… please come back to us – to me. I miss you…"

Still nothing. Not so much as a twitch.

He sighed deeply, "Well…" he said, rising to his feet, "I guess I should go. When you're ready to come home… I'll be there. No matter how long it takes, I'll always wait for you, Asuka." On impulse, he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the cheek. With another sigh he straightened and turned away, not seeing the slight tremor that ran through her.

As he got closer to the door, the tremor intensified, making her whole body shake until finally it coalesced into a sound, "Shinji!" Asuka's voice cut through the afternoon stillness like a clarion.

His head whipped around and he blinked as his eyes met hers – really and truly MET them, instead of hers just sliding away. "Asuka?" he whispered, "ASUKA!" He crossed the room in two giant strides and threw his arms around her.

She returned his embrace, looking confused, "Shinji… why am I in here?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked, wiping his eyes, -Damn,- he thought, -why can't I get through one day without breaking down?-

She frowned, searching her memories. Her eyes went wide, "I…" she blushed furiously, "I remember trying to take off your pants…"

He blinked, -Now that *I* don't remember…- he thought.

She continued, her eyes starting to run with tears, "I remember… Unit 00." A miserable moan escaped her, "I remember trying to destroy it…" she grabbed his arms, "Shinji!" she said desperately, "Did I kill her?"

-Yes… and almost me, too…- he thought. Shaking his head to clear the dark words from it, he said gently, "No… she activated Unit 00's self-destruct and destroyed the angel. She ejected and was retrieved." It was just a little lie, he thought… necessary to calm her before she became hysterical.

"Where is she?" Asuka asked, "I should… I need to apologize…" The very thought of saying she was sorry to the red-eyed girl make her skin feel somehow too tight… but she knew it had to be done.

"She thought it might upset you if she was here," Shinji explained quietly, sitting on the bed next to her, "so she went to do something for… for father…" He frowned as he thought of the Commander of NERV.

Asuka nodded and sat back on her bed, "Shinji…" she said quietly, "I… don't think they'll let me pilot anymore."

He put a hand on her shoulder, "Good…" he said firmly, "I wish I never had to do it again myself."

She met his eyes, "You don't understand!" she said desperately, "That's all I have! I don't wear my A-10 connectors because I think they look good… I wear them to show that I'm a pilot…" her voice dropped to a whisper, "it's all I am…"

He put a hand under her chin and lifted her face so he could see her eyes, "You know something?" he said softly, "You're not wearing them now… and you're still you." He moved his hand to her cheek, "You're still my friend… and I still love you – even if you never pilot again."

She tilted her head against his palm, "I love you too, Shinji…" she said softly, meeting his eyes, "but still, if I can't pilot, I-"

Her words were cut off by the strident sound of an alarm going off. Shinji blinked, "What's going on?" He stood up and walked to the door, watching technicians scramble to their designated posts, "Wonder if the alarm system is broken?"

"Shinji?" Asuka said, making him turn around, "help me up, ok?"

He hurried to her side and put an arm around her waist, blushing as his hand touched her bare back.

"If you look at my butt," she said in a low tone, glaring at him out of the corner of her eye, "I'll slap the hell out of you!"

He laughed, "Now I KNOW you're better…" he said with a smile, "where are we going?"

"What are you, stupid?" she said, putting her arm over his shoulder for added support, "To the EVAs, of course!"

He frowned as they started for the door, "I'll help you get there…" he said quietly, "then I have to go find Rei…"

She nodded, "Kinda figured…" she replied, "but in case this isn't a false alarm, hurry up… I don't want ALL the glory for saving the day…"

"Why, Asuka…" he said with wide eyes and mock surprise, "how generous of you!"

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, shut up…"

**

"Should we not check?" Rei asked again, coming up short, "It has been thirty minutes since the alarm sounded, Commander…"

Gendou ground his teeth, forcing a smile. "I'm sure that Shinji is fine," he assured her, "he's got an excellent guardian."

Rei frowned slightly. "Yes sir…"

They were nearing Terminal Dogma… and the fulfillment of Rei's purpose – but she was beginning to feel nervous about the situation.

-I hope he is alright,- she thought as they resumed their interrupted walk, -I must complete my task quickly… then I can be with him…-

Gendou frowned. –She must not hesitate when the time is right…- he thought. Out loud her said, "I will contact him before we enter Terminal Dogma… there is a hard line phone just outside."

"Thank you," she said, the tension leaving her shoulders, "thank you, Commander…"

Gendou just nodded as they continued.

**

They had not met any resistance on the way to the EVA cages, but it had still taken them several minutes longer than usual, as Asuka's legs were not at full strength.

"Finally," Shinji said as the door closed behind them.

Asuka nodded and pulled away then headed towards the rack of plugsuits that lined the wall.

"Turn around… and don't peek…" she said, smiling as she added, "perv…"

"I-I never would!" the Third protested, blushing furiously as he turned his back.

"Oh come on now," Asuka chided, quickly discarding the hospital robe, "like you're so pure. I'm sure you and Wondergirl have stuck to closed-mouthed kisses and holding hands."

Shinji whirled around, his cheeks blazing. "We've never done more than… ummm… more than…"

"What… did… I… JUST SAY??" she grated, her hands clenching into fist at her sides.

A (very painful) moment later, Shinji sat with his head down, nursing several bruises as Asuka finished pulling on her plugsuit, humming quietly.

"I don't know what I'll do if I can't find her, Asuka…" Shinji said quietly, "I… she's everything to me."

"That's very sweet," the redhead replied, "but you're acting like she's all alone in the forest. Isn't she with your father?"

"Yeah…" he answered, shrugging, "but I'll feel safer once I know she's safe…"

-How did I know you would say that?- Asuka thought with a smile. "I'm tired…" she said, pressing the button on the wrist of the suit, "I want to go back to sleep, so hurry the hell up so you can get back here and we can finish this!!"

Shinji smiled, "Yes Ma'am!" he said, trying to force down the rising tide of panic.

She headed towards Unit 02, sparing him one last look. "Shinji… hurry." Without another word, she climbed into the entry plug and began activating her mecha.

**

Misato was stalking. Creeping through the higher levels of Central Dogma.

It had been fifteen minutes since Asuka had launched to fight the ground troops, and since Misato had gone in search of Shinji.

'He's determined to find Rei,' Asuka had said, 'but he's going to find himself dead.'

'I'll get him,' the purple-haired woman had replied, strapping on her riot gear, 'you just worry about defending the base.'

Sighing, she paused at one of the hard-line phones built into the wall.

She had decided to use these rather than her cell to reduce the risk of being caught, as they would be hard to trace within the headquarters (they still had the Magi, thanks to Ritsuko's triple-six defender program).

She knew it was still a slight risk for the person whose cell she was about to call… but if she kept it brief, everything should be ok.

"Hello?" a voice said quietly after two rings, "Asuka?"

"Shinji," the purple-haired woman said, relieved, "it's me…"

"Misato!" the boy exclaimed happily.

"I'm coming for you," she said calmly, "I'm on level Delta."

"I'm on the same floor," he said quickly, "in one of the storage rooms."

"Stay there!" Misato said firmly, "I'll come for you."

"Ok," Shinji said thankfully, "but please hurry… I have to find her."

"I know, out."

Sighing, the purple haired woman hung the phone up. "Now to check in with the command center," she said quietly, picking it up again.

After six rings, she was treated to the sound of Hyouga's voice, "Command deck," he said, trying to contain his panic.

"Hyouga," Misato said quickly, "are you guys still holding?"

"Yes," the technician replied, relieved to her from his commanding officer, "but Asuka's in trouble."

"How so?" the purple-haired woman asked, "I thought she was just facing ground troops?"

Hyouga's voice was replaced by Fuyutsuki's, "She was," the older man said calmly, "but SEELE has sent in the mass-produced Evangelion Units…"

"All nine??" Misato shouted, "Patch me through to her."

There was a click, and Asuka's voice came into her ear. "Something you need, Misato?" the redhead asked nonchalantly, "I'm kinda busy right now."

"Hold them off as long as you can," the purple-haired woman said, not bothering with small-talk, "I'm not that far from Shinji. I'll get him to Unit 01 so he can help you."

"Take your time," Asuka said airily, "no rush. Just a few pesky things to deal with… no big deal."

"Put me back to Fuyutsuki," Misato replied, impressed by the girl's calmness in the face of such overwhelming odds.

There was another click and Fuyutsuki came on. "They haven't landed yet," he informed her, "right now they're just circling."

"Not for long I'll bet," the purple-haired woman muttered, "and once they land…"

"Miss Ibuki has just informed me that there is a clear route between you and the Third Child," Fuyutsuki said, his voice holding the slightest trace of hope, "and there is an emergency elevator approximately three minutes from his location."

"Ok," the purple-haired woman replied, "I'll get him."

"Hurry, Major…" Fuyutsuki's voice came back to her, "I don't know how long Souryu can keep them at bay once they touch down."

"Understood," Misato said, hanging up the phone. –No matter how good she thinks she is… nine to one is bad odds…-

She hurried towards Shinji's location, her face set in a grim mask.

**

Shinji peeked around the corner. –Looks clear,- he thought.

He ducked back into the room he had been hiding in as his cell phone rang again, "Misato?" he said hopefully.

"Hardly," came the stiff response.

"F-father…" Shinji whispered, "father, is Rei with you?"

"That is unimportant right now, pilot," Gendou replied, "you are to report to Unit 01 and defend this base at all costs."

Shinji blinked, "But… Rei, I have to-"

"That is an order, pilot," Gendou cut him off, "do it!"

Shinji closed his eyes, "N-no…" he stammered, "Father, I have to find her, I-"

"She is dead," the elder Ikari said coldly, "shot by a JSSDF soldier. Now report to your post."

"No…" Shinji moaned, the world swimming out of focus, "she was… no…"

"I have no time for this," Gendou said calmly, "do as you're told – protect the base."

The phone slipped from Shinji's fingers as the line went dead.

**

"Is he alright?" Rei inquired as Gendou came out of the small room.

The Commander smiled. –Ordering her to stay outside was wise,- he thought, -so trusting.- Out loud, he replied, "Yes, and he will defend us. He also asked me to give you a message. He said, 'Please tell her I'll see her soon… and that I love her.'" Even speaking the words made Gendou's insides twist… but he maintained his casual smile.

Rei blushed slightly, "I am… surprised that he would… tell you that."

Gendou patted her arm. "This is the final battle," he said coolly, "once it is all over, you will be free."

Rei nodded. "Yes," she whispered, "when we enter Lillith and destroy her, there will be no more need for me… and I can be with him forever…"

-Oh, you'll be with him forever,- Gendou thought as he nodded, smiling indulgently.

Together, they continued their walk to Terminal Dogma… where the evolution of mankind would take place.

**

Shinji wandered down the hall in a daze.

Though he was still close to where he had been hiding, he no longer cared about getting helped by Misato – no longer cared about anything, when it came right down to it.

"Gone…" he whispered.

He barely noticed the three soldiers coming towards him down the hall.

"We've located the Third," one of them said as they surrounded him, "proceeding with elimination." He drew a pistol and pressed it against the boy's head, "Sorry kid… don't take this personally…"

Shinji looked up at him, and the man paused, stunned by the look of absolute, unadulterated…

Gratefulness.

The pause saved Shinji's life.

Two shots rang out, taking one of the soldiers in the shoulder and chest.

The remaining two raised their weapons, trying to turn as a woman with long purple hair sprinted down the hallway towards them, firing her high caliber gun as she came.

Three of the rounds found another of the soldiers, throwing him to the ground as the woman reached the small group, slamming her knee into the last man's stomach.

"You can take this personally," the woman said as she pressed her gun under his chin, forcing his head back against the wall.

Shinji watched in silence as Misato pulled the trigger twice in rapid succession, ending the life of the man who had almost killed him.

Misato was breathing hard as she surveyed her handiwork. "Harder to run in riot gear than I thought…" she panted.

Shinji looked at her dully, but said nothing.

"I know I said we could find Rei," Misato said reluctantly, "but Asuka needs you to-"

"Rei's dead," Shinji muttered his voice hollow, "I spoke to father… she was shot… she's gone…"

Misato looked at him sharply, for the first time noticing the lackluster quality of his eyes. "Shinji…" she whispered, "oh I'm so sorry…"

"You should have let him," the boy said softly, "I would have been with her."

The purple-haired woman flinched. "I really am sorry," she repeated, putting a hand on his shoulder, "but right now we have to help Asuka."

"I won't be able to help," Shinji said sullenly, "I can't help anyone. I should have been with her, Misato… she'd still be alive."

Misato closed her eyes, dreading what she had to do. "Come on," she said firmly, "I won't let Asuka die because you refuse to do anything."

Shinji made no protest as his guardian grabbed him by the arm and began to pull him towards the elevator.

**

It had been two minutes since the white machines had touched down… and so far, Asuka had eliminated four of them.

"Bastards," she muttered, "think some mass-produced hunk of crap can take my Unit 02?"

She screamed, swinging the sword-like weapon she had 'liberated' from one of the other EVAs in an underhand arc, neatly slicing the legs out from under the fifth.

Before she could draw back, another EVA pounced, bearing her to the ground.

"I think _NOT!_" she screamed, as the white head loomed closer.

Unit 02 grabbed the other machine by the chest and thrust its shoulder under its chin.

Asuka grinned wolfishly as the close assault spikes housed in her mecha's red shoulder shot out, piercing her opponent's skull and sending it flying backwards.

"Four more, right?" she said, getting quickly to her feet, "Sorry Shinji… I don't think there will be any left for you…"

She blinked as she became aware of a clock running down, barely visible from the corner of her eye.

"Guess I'll have to hurry up…" she muttered, wondering when exactly she had lost her power supply, "four minutes…"

She charged one of the remaining EVAs, hoping for a quick kill.

**

Rei stood silent behind Gendou for the entire exchange between him and the obviously insane Doctor Akagi.

-Why would she try and stop us?- she thought as the blonde closed her eyes and reached into her pocket, -Does she not know that we are going to destroy the angel?-

"What?" Ritsuko said, opening her eyes and pulling a small device from her pocket, "Destruct code refused… by Caspar? Mother… you chose him over your own daughter…"

A quiet click drew her attention. "Doctor Akagi, honestly…" Gendou began, quietly speaking the words he had so often whispered to her as they had lain in her bed.

She smiled, forcing her voice to stay level. "Liar…" she whispered.

Rei watched the doctor's body arch back off the platform, propelled by the impact of the high-caliber bullet from Gendou's pistol.

She sighed quietly. –Perhaps she will be happier…- she thought, feeling the doctor's soul join with the one within her, -she always seemed so sad…-

As they had neared Terminal Dogma, Rei had become increasingly aware of the fight taking place inside the NERV headquarters… even to the point of sensing the souls as they came to join Lillith.

'It is because her soul senses that the time is near,' Gendou had explained when she'd questioned him about it, 'she is gathering her children, hoping to use them to fight us. She will not succeed.'

Rei had felt that this was not exactly true… but the Commander had never lied to her before, so she had pushed aside her doubts.

"It is time now, Rei…" Gendou said softly, discarding the gun and removing his gloves, "are you ready?"

"Yes sir…" she whispered, shivering slightly as she felt the awesome power of Adam, contained in the older man's hand, beginning to affect her.

Abruptly, her left arm detached, dropping to the floor.

She blinked in surprise, but oddly she felt no pain.

"We must hurry," Gendou said, "your AT field cannot take this for long…"

She nodded, biting her lip as he extended his hand and laid it on her bare breast. He had told her there would be some pain… but she still gasped as Adam touched her, feeling as if her skin was melting away.

Gendou smiled as his hand sank into the girl's body. –Soon…- he thought.

-Shinji…- Rei thought, -soon we'll be free…-

"Now," Gendou said as his hand finished its entry into her being, "take me to Yui…"

Rei nodded, hardly hearing him as she concentrated on making her body to rise.

Gendou smiled as their feet left the ground, marveling that the girl was so trusting.

-Of course,- he thought with a smirk, -that's how I made her…-

Together they rose towards the second angel, their bodies joined, their hearts beating in time… but their understandings of what would happen when they arrived completely different…

**

Asuka was not amused.

"Die, damnit!" she screamed, crushing the throat of the EVA held in Unit 02's grasp.

Blood sprayed from the thing's neck, but Asuka wasted no time in gloating – she had no time to waste, as it had taken her longer than she thought to dispose of the remaining Units.

She willed Unit 02 to throw the one she was holding, sparing a quick look at her timer as she sprinted towards the remaining one.

"Fifty seconds," she mumbled, "this is the last one!"

Rearing back, she slammed Unit 02's fist through the Unit she had thrown… and into the remaining Unit's chest, clutching its core and bearing down.

As she tried to crush the life from the thing, Unit 02's sensor's reported an incoming projectile.

Quickly pulling the hand free, she whipped Unit 02 around and raised her AT field, halting the progress of one of the EVAs spears as it drew close to her.

Even as she was sighing in relief, the spear began twisting… bending until it had rearranged itself into the familiar shape of, "The lance of Longinuss?!?"

Asuka barely had time to gasp as the lance seemed to hesitate in mid-air for a moment… then puncture her AT field, closing the distance between it and Unit 02 in the blink of an eye.

**

"There it is," Misato said thankfully, "this leads directly to Unit 01."

Shinji looked up disinterestedly. –What does it matter?- he thought, -I don't want to live anymore… why bother?-

His eyes cleared a bit. –The others don't want to die…- he thought, -would she just sit around and do nothing?-

As they approached the elevator, the Third Child came to a decision,

He would fight. To protect the ones that were still alive… because that's what Rei would have done in his place.

A small click, like a pebble tapping on concrete, caught his attention, and he turned his head.

"Get down!" Shinji screamed suddenly, grabbing Misato's arm and yanking her towards the door.

Totally unprepared for the shift in the boy's attitude, Misato let out a confused yelp as the sound of machineguns filled the air.

Two steps from the door, Shinji felt something smash into his back, propelling him forward.

As they cleared the door, Misato leaned against the far wall and let out a shuddering sigh. "That was close…" she whispered.

"M… Misato…" Shinji's pained gasp made her turn around… and she barely contained the scream that threatened to burst from her chest.

He was leaning against the wall, his hand up against his side, where blood was seeping out of an exit wound Misato could not see. "It's… not bad…" he said, forcing a smile.

"Shinji…" she moaned, putting her hands over his… trying desperately to staunch the flow of blood.

His eyes met hers. "Tell Asuka I'm sorry…" he said, pushing himself away from the wall.

She stepped back, horrified. –This can't be happening…- she thought desperately, -not now… not when we're so close!-

Misato backed away until her back hit the elevator door. "Shinji…" she said thickly, "we'll… get you help… we'll-"

"Shhh…" he whispered, "tell Asuka for me," he repeated, gently embracing her, "I know I'll see you again, Misato…"

She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could speak he leaned up and gently pressed his lips against hers.

As her eyes widened in shock he tapped the button to open the elevator and quickly pushed her inside.

"NO!!" she cried, realizing too late that the kiss was just a distraction.

"Goodbye, Misato…" he said, smiling softly, "I love you…"

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" she screamed as the door slammed shut, "Shinji…" she sank to her knees, tears running down her face.

As the elevator hummed to life, Shinji leaned against the wall.

"Sorry…" he whispered, the last of his strength leaving him as he slid to the floor, a large trail of red marking his descent. "I wanted to help, Asuka… I let you down… I'm sorry…"

The cool floor met his cheek with a dull thud, and he sighed, watching with detached fascination as a small pool of blood began spreading from his wound.

"I'll be with you soon, honey…" he whispered, smiling as he thought of his deceased love.

A small movement caught his eye, and he raised his head. "Rei?" he asked quietly, "Did I do ok?"

The pale girl smiled, but said nothing.

"I just wish I could hold you again…" he whispered, his voice cracking, "I'm coming home to you now…"

The vision of the First Child knelt and placed a cool hand on his cheek, mouthing, 'Welcome home'… as the floor beneath him erupted in a ball of flame.

**

Rei's eyes shot open. "Shinji??" she gasped.

Gendou smiled. "You will see him soon," he assured her.

"He is… hurt…" she whispered, trying to pull free as they neared the white creature… realizing with sudden clarity that it was too late.

For him, and for her.

Gendou looked up at the form of the second angel.

"You will see him soon…" he repeated softly.

A portion of the immense being's chest extended towards them and drew them in… and Instrumentality began…

Continued…

Author's notes: Ummm… yeah, so it's been what, five months since the last chapter? Six? Nine? Whatever, it's been a while. Sorry it took so long, but on the upside, I put in work on this chapter, the next, and the epilogue concurrently. What does this mean for you, the reader? Means that this story will be finished within the next month – guaranteed. Just need to finish up the others and have them pre-read, but rest assured they ARE being worked on. On Asuka not fighting as ferociously as in the film – well, in the film she knew her mother was with her, and she was really, _really_ pissed off. Wait until next chapter, though… I promise I'll make up for it ;)

Thanks to Ryoma (again) for a quality pre-read… now if I could just get you to _write_ some of this stuff for me… ^_^

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	15. Hearken Unto Me, part 2: Lifesong Resoun...

Disclaimer: see part 1

Part 15

Hearken Unto Me, part 2: Lifesong Resounding

By Random1377

Asuka's life had been filled with pain, both physical and emotional.

When she was four, she had fallen down the stairs and broken her leg. Just a simple, clean break… but it had still hurt like hell.

When she was seven, her mother had taken her own life, and very nearly Asuka's as well.

By the time she was fourteen, she had endured more hardships than most people see in a lifetime. However, nothing in her past could have prepared her for the searing pain the Lance's entry into Unit 02 caused her.

The agony was so intense that all the redhead could do was gasp as her left eye was darkened.

As the red mecha went silent all around her, Asuka began to cry. Not tears of sadness or pain… but rather, tears of frustration.

She had lost again. Lost to Shinji in piloting, lost to the fifteenth angel in combat, and now she was going to lose her life to one of those horrible white monsters.

"I don't want to die," she whispered, tears and blood mingling and streaming down her face, "I don't want to die, I don't want to die…"

Over and over she repeated those five words, yanking on the dead controls in the vain hope that somehow her Unit would respond.

She knew that at least one of the mass-produced EVAs had survived – where else would the Lance have come from?

She also knew it was only a matter of time before it came to finish the job.

"Please…" she moaned, "please someone help me. I can't…" asking for help went against everything she had been brought up to believe, but at that moment… all she could think about was how she had failed. Time and time again, she had failed. Why not ask for help now? She was already pathetic, so why not one more disgrace to add to the rest? After all, in a few moments it would all be over.

"I can't do this alone…" she whispered, slumping back in the pilot's chair and closing her remaining eye.

"I don't want to die," she said once more, wondering if the other EVA would make her death quick, or take its time.

"There is no need…" a soft voice whispered, "live… Asuka… live, and be true…"

She opened her eye, struggling to maintain her sanity as her mind identified the voice as… "Mama?"

"Stay alive…" the voice said softly, "remember those that love you…" it dropped to an almost inaudible level, "forgive those who have wronged you…"

"Yes," Asuka replied, her tears coming faster, "I will, Mama… I will…"

She heard nothing more, and for a moment she began to wonder if she had imagined the whole thing… until all of her monitors sprang back to life.

"Asuka!" Maya's voice rang in her ears, "I'm getting a high energy reading from Unit 02, what's happening in there? Asuka? Asuka, can you hear me?"

The redhead checked the screens, her eye widening as she found all nine of the white EVAs back on their feet, spreading their wings as if to take flight.

"They're coming to finish it…" she said softly, ignoring the technician, "to finish me – no, to finish US."

As the mass-produced Units rose into the air, she narrowed her remaining eye, "But I won't let them!"

Grabbing the control yokes once more, she twisted them savagely to the side, at the same time willing Unit 02's hand to grasp the Lance still pinning it to the ground.

In Central Dogma, everyone watched as the white EVAs descended on Unit 02's position, only to be denied as the red mecha suddenly reached up with one hand and yanked the Lance from its eye, then rolled to the side.

As she brought her machine to its feet, Asuka whispered, "I understand the AT field now…"

She braced herself as the mass-produced Units turned as one to face her. "You've been with me…" she continued, "you've been watching over me… you're always here, Mama…"

One of the white machines snarled and charged the red mecha.

"I forgive you," Asuka said softly.

As the white EVA neared it, Unit 02 threw its head back and howled… the mouth restraints snapping like hard candy thrown against a sidewalk.

Asuka deftly sidestepped the charging Unit and buried the Lance in its chest, never looking back as the thing fell.

"Now then," the redhead whispered, "who's next?"

"Asuka," Maya's voice caught her attention as the white Units stood still, seeming to assess her more carefully, "Misato's in the EVA cages, on her way here. She says each of those Units has a Lance, and they all have S^2 engines and dummy plugs. You'll have to destroy the cores or the plugs to stop them, do you understand?"

"Where's Shinji?" Asuka replied, "Did he find Rei?"

It was Misato's voice that answered her a moment later. "I'm afraid… they're both gone, Asuka…" the purple-haired woman answered sadly, "They were both-"

"NO!!" Asuka screamed, "You're wrong! You're lying!"

"Asuka, please!" Misato begged, "I saw Shinji-"

"NOOOO!!"

Misato flinched as Unit 02 echoed the Second Child's scream.

"My… God…" Maya whispered, staring at the viewscreen in wonder, "wings – it's got wings!"

Asuka let her rage fill her, allowing Unit 02 to run free. Angelic aspects of the machine, kept in check by the manmade restraints and the human soul within, were finally released, allowing the Unit to achieve its full potential. Though how long it would, or could last, Asuka neither knew… nor cared.

Only one thing mattered to her.

"No," she said again, her knuckles white on the control yokes, "he's not dead until I say so!"

The bridge crew watched in awe as the red mecha took to the sky, carried by six glowing wings.

And fueled by Asuka's fury.

**

"Something's coming," Hyouga reported quietly, "I've got massive energy readings."

"Where?" Fuyutsuki replied, leaning over the tech's desk.

"Terminal Dogma," Hyouga answered, sounding confused, "the reading is… human?"

Fuyutsuki bowed his head. –So you finally got your wish…- he thought with an odd mix of sadness and relief, -Soon it will all be over…-

He looked up to the main screen, where the now-aerial fight between Unit 02 and the mass-produced Units was still raging.

His eyes widened as the huge form of the second angel, bearing the face of Rei Ayanami, rose from the depths of Terminal Dogma.

The reactions were varied.

Maya Ibuki screamed, covering her eyes and shaking her head in terror as the hand of the creature passed through her body.

Shigeru Aoba and Makoto Hyouga merely stared in mute wonder as the creature continued its ascent.

And Misato Katsuragi drew her pistol out of pure instinct, nearly firing a round before realizing it would do no good.

Together, they watched the being rise out of the building, heading towards ongoing war in the sky.

**

Asuka could not recall a time in her life when she had been angrier than she currently was.

The initial spark of anger had not subsided, instead growing in her breast until it was nearly a white-hot flame.

"Come on!" she growled, making the mecha climb higher, "You think you're better than me? You think you could _EVER_ beat me!?"

She bared her teeth, looking back over her shoulder at the pursuing EVAs.

"Weapon…" she muttered, "need a weapon…"

She grinned suddenly, and willed Unit 02's wings to fold in on themselves.

"Now I'm going to show you how it's done."

The dummy plugs installed in the mass-produced Evangelion Units contained the thought patterns of the Fifth Child, Kaworu Nagisa. SEELE had felt this would be a better course of action, as the Fifth had been angelic, and therefore had a thought process almost identical to the EVAs themselves – thus allowing them an unprecedented level of control over the Units.

What they did not account for was combat experience… something Asuka had in spades.

The EVA that was leading the pursuit barely had time to squawk in surprise as the red Unit it was chasing suddenly stopped climbing… and dropped on it like a stone.

"Give me that!" Asuka snapped, yanking the white EVAs Lance from its hands before it could so much as twitch, "Let me show you how to use it."

The white machine dropped from the sky as Asuka rammed the weapon through its core, then spread Unit 02's wings again, using the falling EVA's momentum to wrench the Lance free.

"Thanks," she said contemptuously, hefting the weapon over her mecha's head and trying to decide which white Unit would fall next.

Her triumph was short lived as two of the remaining EVA's Lances shot forward, catching Unit 02 in the hands.

"Ahhh!!" Asuka cried out, looking down in shock as her own hands began to bleed… and watching in horror as the Lance tumbled from her grasp.

The Units that were holding her flew in opposite directions, forcing Unit 02's arms to spread out and leaving it effectively helpless.

"Give me power," Asuka panted, the pain in her hands and eye pushing her to the threshold of her endurance, "I don't care what I have to do, Mama, but help me… help me win…"

She gritted her teeth as another Unit began heading towards her… the level of its Lance perpendicular to Unit 02's chest. She held her breath, her lips moving in a silent apology to Shinji as the white machine approached. Its face, she noted, was lit with a grotesque, almost feral smile.

The smile of a predator that knows its prey has nowhere left to run.

In the near-silence of the entry plug, Asuka became aware of a whistling sound… starting out soft, but rising quickly in pitch until it was almost a scream.

The mass-produced EVAs must have heard it also, because they paused, their eyeless heads swinging around in confusion.

Until the source of the sound made itself known.

"YES!" Asuka cried as the original Lance arched down out of the sky like a bolt of red lightning, burying itself in the chest of the EVA that had her right arm pinned.

The white mecha went motionless and began to drop from the sky.

"Thank you, Mama," the redhead said, "I won't let you down."

Quickly she extricated Unit 02's hand, grabbing the end of the Lance that had pierced it and swinging the EVA (which still had its hands wrapped around the haft) around in a tight arc… aiming directly for the Unit that was restraining her other hand.

Asuka nearly laughed with glee as the two Units collided, and before they could recover, she willed Unit 02 to rush them, slamming its shoulder into the midsection of the one that was still active.

Grasping the true Lance, she risked a quick look around. "Where are the others?" she muttered, "Can't lose track of… of…" her voice dropped to a whisper, "Mein… Gott…"

The remaining white Units had arranged themselves in a circle around her… or rather, in a circle around her and the giant white creature rising up from NERV headquarters.

The Unit that had been pierced by the Lance fell to the ground unnoticed as Asuka's eye widened.

The Second Child slumped back in her seat as the immense being raised its head… and she barely managed to breathe a single word,

"Wondergirl?"

The creature's black eyes regarded Unit 02 for a moment… then slowly, its hands reached out, cupping the mecha between them gently.

Asuka's will to fight left her as she was faced with the impossibly huge incarnation of Rei Ayanami, and Unit 02's hand opened, releasing the Lance.

Instead of falling, though, the Lance hovered next to the red machine… floating alongside it.

"What's… happening?" Asuka whispered, her mind unable to cope with what her eyes were telling her.

The creature made no reply.

Pain flashed through Asuka's chest, and she looked down, fighting the rising tide of panic that threatened to overwhelm her as Unit 02's core expanded, cracking the chest armor.

"Is this how it all ends?" she asked softly, unable to look away as the true Lance began aligning itself with Unit 02's core… then slowly started to sink in.

'No,' a gentle voice whispered in her mind, 'this is how it all begins…'

**

Misato stood stock-still, barely daring to breathe.

All around her, the members of the bridge crew began to smile… their bodies breaking down one by one.

She blinked in surprise as Hyouga whispered her name, smiling as his body turned into LCL.

She watched in mute horror as Maya clutched at thin air, crying, 'Sempai! Sempai!' over and over again until she finally ceased to be.

She looked up to the command dais, desperately hoping for guidance… but Fuyutsuki was already gone.

When she turned back again, her breath caught in her throat, and slowly her gun slipped from her fingers.

"Shinji…?" she whispered.

The boy smiled at her, opening his arms.

She went to him willingly, embracing him and crying tears of joy even as her body lost its ego-border and disintegrated.

And so it went… all over the world. Men, women, children – all souls were called to the giant white creature.

Asuka Langley Souryu was the last human to enter, as Unit 02 and the Lance of Longinus slowly fused with Lillith's head.

As the red mecha disappeared, all was silent on Earth, as Instrumentality – the merging of mankind into one, perfect being – TRULY began…

**

"Where am I?"

Shinji looked once more around the deserted auditorium, half expecting to see a string quartet waiting patiently for him to leave the stage.

He bowed his head. "I shouldn't even be here," he murmured, "I should be dead…"

'Leave then!' Misato's voice suddenly came from nowhere, 'If you want to go, then go! I don't want someone with you kind of attitude piloting!'

Shinji flinched, remembering how mad his guardian had been.

"I stayed, though…" he whispered, "I stayed… and I fought… and I…"

'Love me instead!'

Shivering, Shinji rose from the single folding chair. "I did…" he said softly, "I did love you, Rei." He let out a miserable sigh, "And then you died – you were taken from me, and I couldn't do anything to save you…"

The memory of his father's stern voice… telling him (so calmly) that Rei had been gunned down.

"Why am I here?" he muttered, "Did Misato save me?" He bowed his head once more, closing his eyes, "Why…?"

"Do you love her…?" Again… Misato's voice, stronger this time.

"Yes…"

"Don't you want to see her again?"

"Of course I do! But she's… she's gone…"

"She's waiting for you."

"She's GONE! Even if I wanted to go to her – even if I'm dead, and this is Hell… I'd only fail… I'm too weak…"

"If I go with you… will you be strong…?"

"If you were with me… I could try…"

"Shinji…"

Slowly, the Third Child looked up, his eyes opening wide.

"M-Misato…?"

**

Asuka slowly opened her eyes, the pleasant sensation of motion greeting her return to consciousness. Remembering the fight with the white EVAs, she sat up quickly – or she would have, had she not been held so tightly.

"Shhh…" a soft voice soothed her, "it's alright, Asuka… it's alright…"

A hand slowly began stroking her hair, which (she noticed) was no longer bound by her neural connectors. "Who are you…?" she whispered, feeling too weak to fight anymore, "Are you an angel? A REAL angel…?"

The woman – she could tell it was a woman by her voice – laughed quietly. "Well… I was once compared to an angel," she replied, her tone conveying amusement, "the man who made that comparison ended up asking me to marry him."

Asuka closed her eyes, her body shaking as an old memory surfaced in the back of her mind. "Mama…?"

Carefully, the hand that had been caressing her hair slid down and came to a rest on her cheek. "I think he would be proud if he saw you now," Kyoko Zeppelin Souryu whispered gently, "I KNOW he would…"

"Mama…"

The redhead slowly looked up, afraid that any sudden movement might wake her – for she had to be dreaming.

"You said you knew the secret of the AT field," Kyoko said gently, "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you for real, Asuka… but I had to make sure I could protect you when-"

"You're here now," the redhead cut her off softly, her heart swelling with joy, "I missed you…"

As the girl began to cry quietly, Kyoko smiled. "I missed you too," she murmured, hugging the girl tight, "even though I was right there… I couldn't ever touch you… but…"

"What's wrong?" Asuka asked, frowning slightly as she noticed something odd, "And why are you… faint…?"

She couldn't think of any other way to describe what she saw. Her mother was there… Asuka could touch her, see her – smell her (violets and honeysuckle), but she was vaguely translucent – as if she wasn't entirely real.

"There's not much time," Kyoko replied, her smile growing sad, "for me – and everyone else. Asuka, listen…"

**

"What are you doing here?" Shinji asked finally, feeling slightly dazed as he and his guardian walked through the deserted streets of Tokyo-3.

Since leaving the auditorium via a side door Shinji had not seen, he had been unable to speak. The shock of seeing Misato standing in front of him had been far too great.

"I have NO idea…" the purple-haired woman admitted, "all I know is that I was warm… and safe…" she smiled, "and happy…"

"Where were you?" the Third Child asked, "And where is everyone else?"

"Don't know and don't know," Misato answered, "I just…" her voice grew soft as they came to an intersection, "I heard your voice… and I heard Rei telling me to go to you – so I went…"

"Rei…" Shinji murmured, "Father said she was-"

"I know…" the Operations Director cut him off gently, "and I know that you were, too…"

"None of this makes sense…" the boy whispered, "how did we get out of Central Dogma? Where is everyone?"

"Why IS the sky blue?" Misato grinned, "I don't know, Shinji…"

"Where are we going?"

The purple-haired woman's smile fell away. "I'm not really sure," she murmured, "but I think… I think it's important…"

Shinji nodded. "Ok…"

They walked on in silence for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts. As they reached another stoplight, both shaking their heads as they realized they were waiting for it to change, Misato sighed. "Asuka was furious when she found out you got hurt…"

The brown-haired boy frowned. "You mean that I got killed…"

"Yeah… I guess… but if you're dead, does that mean I'm dead too? Is this Heaven?"

"Hardly."

The twosome looked left, surprised to hear, "Asuka??"

"You know anyone else that looks this good?" the redhead replied sarcastically, putting one hand on her hip as she walked up to them, "Like I said… this ain't Heaven…"

"Who are you?" Shinji asked curiously, taking note of the fact that Asuka was not alone.

"I think your guardian knows," the strangely pale woman replied, smiling faintly, "don't you, Major?"

Misato shrugged, well past the point of being surprised. "I've seen your picture," she said coolly, "do you prefer Doctor, or Misses Souryu?"

"I prefer Kyoko," the woman laughed, "and I hope, considering the circumstances, that I can call you Misato," she turned her eyes to the gaping, brown-haired boy, "and you… Shinji…"

"What ARE the circumstances?" the purple-haired woman asked softly, "You seem like you know what's going on."

Kyoko nodded slowly, turning her attention to the Third Child. "Where is she, Shinji?" she asked gently, "Where is your girlfriend?"

Shinji swallowed, looking at the three women – all of whom looked as if they knew TONS more than he did. "She's… dead, ma'am…" he whispered.

"So are you," Kyoko answered immediately, "so am I… but she's not _gone_."

"I don't understand…"

The older Souryu sighed. "I know you don't… and that's ok, I barely understand the theories myself." She shook her head, "I'm afraid I can only explain a little bit of it, but for now… can you just think about Rei? Just… try and picture her face… try and imagine where she is, ok?"

Shinji nodded, closing his eyes.

"We don't have a lot of time," Asuka prompted after a moment of silence, "we have to find her quickly…"

"Hush…" her mother admonished as Shinji's brow furrowed, "let him be…"

For several minutes, no one said anything. Then, Shinji's arm slowly raised… and he pointed south. "There…" he breathed, his voice shaking as he opened his eyes, "she's that way…"

**

"Where is she, Rei?"

"I… do not know, Commander…"

"Don't lie to me. You are bound to tell me the truth – that is what the scrolls said. Fight it all you like, but you are MINE."

"I am so bound… but I do not know where she is…"

"Find her… now."

"I will… try…"

**

"So you're saying… this IS Heaven?"

Kyoko frowned as the quartet stared at the main entrance to NERV. "Well, Shinji…" she said after a moment, "kind of."

"That's very clear," Misato said dryly, wondering if ALL higher NERV employees were given an obscurity test before being hired, "how about explaining it for those of us that don't have a degree in abstractology?"

Kyoko laughed, shaking her head and holding out her hand for Asuka. "It's actually kinda simple," she said as her daughter took her hand, "Third Impact – or Instrumentality, if you prefer calling it that – is the merging of all souls on earth into one, single being."

"With you so far," Misato replied as they headed through the open door, "but why are we still separate? And where is everyone else?"

"Well…" the scientist answered softly, "we're not separate…"

"Huh?"

Kyoko sighed. "I'll try and explain as best I can…" She took a deep breath. "Imagine that all of humanity is an ocean, right?" She waited for the others to nod before proceeding, "Well, at its most basic, even the ocean is just a collection of drops of water."

"And we're the drops?" Asuka offered, beaming as her mother smiled and nodded, "Well, ok… but why are we still… ummm… drops? Why aren't we part of the ocean?"

"That's where it gets interesting," Kyoko muttered, "or rather… that's where our problem lies – and our opportunity." She stopped walking for a moment, making sure they were all listening. "Someone is holding it back," she said softly, "through force of will, and the power of Adam itself…" she nodded at Shinji, "your father is keeping the project from completing – even though he started it. That's why things appear as they do, because Tokyo-3 is the place he associates with his pain – and though we're all united, there still needs to a be a focal point for the energy… might as well manifest as the center stage of the war with the angels," she shrugged.

"But why is he doing this?" Misato inquired, confused, "I thought he wanted to STOP all this from happening?"

"Don't know," Kyoko admitted, "but he's got almost all the cards right now, since he's got Adam – quite literally – in the palm of his hand."

"How do you know all this?" Misato asked, "I mean, you were in an EVA, right? So how do you know that?"

"The Instrumentality stuff," the other woman answered, "I knew because I was part of the E project. The Adam part," she shrugged, smiling faintly, "I knew because I watched him show it to Yui when I was in Unit 02, so-" Her eyes widened, and her breath caught in her throat.

"What is it, Mama?" Asuka asked, blushing slightly as the others blinked in surprise at the term of endearment.

"Hurry," Kyoko replied, breaking into a run, "I just realized why he's holding back. We have to get to where they are. Fast."

The others followed her lead, confused but trusting in her urgency.

-Rei,- Shinji thought as he ran, -I'm coming…-

**

"Where IS she Rei?" Gendou asked flatly as he stared the blue-haired girl down, "Stop stalling!"

"I… do not know, Commander," Rei replied, her face downcast, "I cannot find her."

"She must be here!" the man grumbled, "All souls were called – she could not refuse!"

"I do not feel her," the First Child whispered, her voice hollow, "she is not here. But Shinji-"

"I don't care about Shinji," Gendou cut in coldly, "Find HER!"

Rei closed her eyes. "I will try again," she said softly.

Terminal Dogma, the focal point of the entire world, lapsed into silence as the young girl concentrated. –She has to be here,- Gendou thought angrily, -All that I have strived for… all the sacrifices… all to see her again. She HAS to be here!-

"Well?" he asked as Rei's crimson eyes slowly opened. He narrowed his eyes as she shook her head. "Don't lie to me, Rei," he said threateningly, "all of mankind is within Instrumentality. Yui-"

"Isn't here."

Gendou closed his mouth, his face becoming a cool, collected mask as he turned to face the intruding voice. "Zeppelin," he said calmly, "it's been a while."

"Hello, Ikari," Kyoko said levelly, striding into Terminal Dogma with an air of familiarity and certainty, "You've certainly changed this place a lot… though I see you still have the old decorations," she nodded towards the giant white being on the cross.

"Very amusing," Gendou replied dryly, holding his hand up as Rei took a step forward, willing her to stop even as a disapproving frown appeared on his face, "and I see you've managed to free yourself of Unit 02's chains, and find your daughter. How touching."

Kyoko grinned mirthlessly as Asuka entered Terminal Dogma, followed by Misato and Shinji. "Not entirely," she said quietly, gesturing to her chest, "as you can see, I'm not all there."

"What an interesting choice of words," Gendou smiled, "I'll bet your daughter has a lot to say about that."

Kyoko flushed, shrugging uncomfortably. "I was only trying to follow in Yui's footsteps – to make sure the future was certain." She sighed, "But this… Ikari, what are you trying to prove? This isn't what she wanted…"

"She couldn't see," the Commander said softly, shooting Rei a narrow glance as she took another shaking step forward, her eyes fixed on Shinji's, "she couldn't see that this way, we could ALWAYS be together." He shook his head, "It doesn't matter now anyway, what's done is done. Now where is she? I simply need to find her, and then I can proceed, living an eternal Heaven with her."

Kyoko looked to Rei, who had her gaze riveted on Shinji's, though like him, she seemed unwilling to interrupt the conversation currently taking place. "She's where she has been for the past eleven years," she said quietly, turning her eyes back to Gendou and containing a smile at the look of pure adoration on the young girl's face, "she's in Unit 01, waiting for her son."

The use of 'her' instead of 'your' was not lost on Gendou, and he sneered. "Impossible," he said flatly, "Instrumentality calls ALL souls to-"

"You never understood," Kyoko cut in sadly, "you could never QUITE grasp everything, no matter how hard you tried, you never got that one detail."

"What are you talking about?" Gendou demanded.

"Yui's soul is bound to Unit 01," the elder Souryu explained, her tone conveying pity, "Unit 01 is the clone of an angel," she lowered her voice, "and angels, except those directly touching Lillith and Adam, are exempt from Instrumentality." She nodded as Gendou paled, "Now you understand. I'm only here because Unit 02 is merged with Lillith – and even still, I'm not entirely free of his bond."

Gendou shook himself, focusing on Shinji. "Then he will bring Unit 01-"

"I can't," Shinji spoke up softly, interrupting his father for the first time that he could recall, "I'm dead."

"No…" Rei breathed, taking a third step towards Shinji as her face fell, "then I DID feel…"

"Yes," Kyoko said softly as the girl trailed off, "I'm sure you felt his soul as it came to you." She smiled, "If Instrumentality ends, he may return – as may everyone that died during the joining of Adam and Lillith. All that is required is the will to live and the time to find ones way back." She sighed. "But as for Yui… I'm afraid she is forever beyond the bounds of Complementation."

"NO!" Gendou declared, "She is NOT!"

"You poor man," Kyoko whispered, approaching the Commander at a slow pace, "how alone you must be. How scared and confused, to give up so much in the vain-"

"Shut up," Gendou interrupted, his voice once again cold and level, "don't lecture me about being pathetic – I'm not the one who tied a rope to the ceiling and hung myself."

Kyoko flushed, but continued walking until she was standing right in front of the man. "I did that so I could be with my daughter," she whispered, her voice growing even more pitying. "I did it out of love – a feeling you once knew, but now can only dream of because you let it grow so twisted and perverted that you would use your own SON to try and regain what was forever lost." She tilted her head to the side. "You're afraid of him, aren't you? You fear him because he is not bound by your will. He does what he feels he must – even defying you – to make sure those around him were happy and safe. You can't comprehend him, so you're terrified."

"It's true, isn't it?" Shinji whispered, keeping his eyes on Rei as he walked towards his father, "I have something you wish you had… right?"

"You know nothing," Gendou answered, his voice barely a whisper, "nothing whatsoever." His eyes held a mad gleam as he added, "But you understand, don't you?" he said softly, focusing on his son, "When I told you she was gone, I could hear it in your voice – you understand me."

"I don't," Shinji answered softly, holding his hand out, palm down, to Rei, "I thought maybe I did, at first. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I COULD live without her." Rei tilted her head to the side, considering this as he further explained, "I love her… but if she was taken from me, I would try and keep going – because THAT is what love is. She wouldn't want to see me miserable and in pain, she would want me to be happy."

He lowered his voice, concluding, "I don't know if I can be happy without her, but the thought of her, in Heaven – if there is such a place – looking down and being sad because I'M sad," he shrugged, "it just doesn't seem right. So I would try to stay happy… for her."

Rei nodded thoughtfully, smiling and raising her hand in a perfect mirror of Shinji's stance, though due to her bond to Gendou and Lillith, she was unable to get any closer. "I did not understand at first," she whispered, her voice soft but firm, "but I see now." She bowed her head, closing her eyes. "I may not be able to stop what is to come," she said quietly, "but no matter what, Shinji, know that I love you. You are my voice."

"You're right," Gendou said coldly as the blue haired girl once more raised her eyes, still smiling as she looked to her boyfriend, "you cannot stop it. Now, Instrumentality will be completed. If I cannot have Yui, I will let all the other souls fill the void – and man will be one!"

Kyoko shook her head, taking a step back. "No," she said levelly, "you've forgotten something."

"And what might that be?" Gendou asked sarcastically, "That Rei has some small amount of power? That she had the strength of will to let you and those three be exempt from Instrumentality? I still have absolute control over the OUTCOME – she _must_ finish the process!"

Kyoko sighed. "Asuka," she whispered, "take my hand."

Asuka stepped forward uncertainly, hoping her mother truly did have some sort of trump card up her sleeve.

"What now?" Gendou said menacingly, "You're going to try and use Unit 02 to wrest control from me? Come now, Zeppelin, even you-"

"Think about the entry plug," Kyoko told her daughter gently, ignoring Gendou entirely, "think about the controls."

"Fools," Gendou spat, looking contemptuously from them to Shinji and Misato, who were still standing at the entrance to Terminal Dogma, hand in hand. "Try what you want… Rei," he turned to face the First Child, "Now."

Rei's entire body shook as she tried desperately to resist the command, but his control over her was soul-deep, and it was ever a losing proposition. Sweat appeared on her young face as she kept her eyes on Shinji's, trying to say anything but the words that were all but torn from her throat as she was forced to comply.

"Yes… sir…"

Gendou shook his head as Kyoko continued to remind her daughter of the butterfly controls, the foot peddles, and the view screens in EVA Unit 02, telling her to visualize them as best she could… but his smile collapsed as the word 'Lance' was mentioned. "Lance…?" he whispered, whirling to face them once more, "NO!"

"Too late," Asuka said with a grin, her body fading slightly as she closed her eyes, "and no one talks to MY mother that way!" She wavered for a moment, and was gone.

**

The world outside of Instrumentality was cold and empty, devoid of life and sound as every being on Earth was slowly being bound to the giant white creature with the face of Rei Ayanami. Silence and stillness dominated the environment, the only witnesses to the spectacle about to unfold.

It began with a sound, one reminiscent of the growl of a dog locked in a basement – subdued, but dangerous nonetheless. The silence returned for a moment longer, broken once more by an unearthly scream.

The being known as Lillith tilted her head back, her mouth gaping open as a thin line of red appeared at her throat, loosing a torrent of LCL onto the world. Her head continued to tilt backwards as the wound widened, growing with each passing second as something within sought egress.

As her head slowly detached from her body, another wound appeared, this time originating from her right eye.

With a savage, and far less muted growl, Unit 02 tore free of Lillith's now disintegrating body, its four eyes glowing with green fire as it once more sounded its mournful cry. It pulled its way free of confinement, stumbling slightly on the irregular surface of the angel's face for a moment before leaning forward and collapsing. As it fell towards the earth, its power reserves spent, the back panel ejected, releasing its precious cargo.

In a place far removed, yet less than a breath away, Shinji, Asuka, Misato, Rei, and Kyoko floated, no longer bound to the illusion of Terminal Dogma and Tokyo-3 that was Gendou's province.

"Well done," Kyoko said tiredly, her image fading ever more, "well done… my Asuka. Now go," she smiled, caressing the girl's face gently, "go live…"

"What about you?" Asuka asked hesitantly, holding the hand against her face, "What's going to happen to-"

"Shhh," Kyoko whispered, averting her eyes, "Go now, Asuka."

The redhead's face crumpled. "But… but – that's not fair!" she managed, scrubbing angrily at her eyes, "Shinji and Rei get to come back – and they were dead! Why can't you, too?"

Kyoko smiled gently. "What's all this crying business?" she said softly, "Where's my strong little Asu-"

"I'm tired of being strong!" Asuka shouted, her voice cracking, "Everyone else is happy! Everyone else has someone to love them – but not me! I have to be all alo-"

"Look around you," Kyoko interrupted, her tone indicating that it was not a request.

Asuka did as she was told, frowning as she looked at the three others, all of whom were watching the exchange with varying degrees of curiosity. "What about them?" she asked finally, "Like I said, they all have someone! Shinji has Wondergirl… she has him… Misato has BOTH of them, and I've got-"

"All of them."

Asuka's tirade ended abruptly. "Huh?" she frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Look again," Kyoko said quietly.

Uncertainly, the redheaded Child reviewed the others one more time, looking slowly from face to face and trying to see anything she hadn't seen the first time. It was in Shinji's eyes that she spotted it first, but it was present in the other two as well, to a lesser degree. "What's this existential crap?" she breathed, blushing slightly and lowering her eyes as Shinji smiled at her, "You're going to try and tell me they ALL love me??"

"I'm not telling you anything," Kyoko grinned, "I'm just saying maybe you should look at the people around you – that's all." Her voice grew softer, and her image seemed to fade a bit more. "I will tell you that _I_ love you, and I wish I could be there to say it every day." Her words became mere whispers as she sighed, ethereal tears finally slipping down her cheeks as she looked at Rei and Shinji, locked in a tight embrace and whispering words of love and comfort to one another. 

She inclined her head slightly towards them, closing her eyes and whispering, "Any place can be Heaven, if you let it."

Asuka closed her eyes as the world around her began to fade away, Instrumentality's power finally breaking. Slowly, she opened them once more, ignoring the others and focusing on her mother one last time, whispering the words she held onto for so long… before it was too late.

"I love you too, Mama."

**

Unit 02 continued its unceremonious plummet to the ground, crashing into the ocean of LCL left behind by the rapidly decaying body of Lillith and sinking to the bottom with barely a ripple to mark its passing. Its eyes, once glowing with fire and power, were black… the soul that once resided within having chosen to ascend to the heavens.

On the banks of the ocean sat four individuals, blinking as they found themselves suddenly free of the merging of souls. "Is it over?" Shinji asked uncertainly, looking away as the remaining white EVAs crashed lifelessly into the LCL, "I mean… really over?"

"Looks like it…" Misato managed, shaking her head in confusion, "but I don't get it – what happened?"

"Unit 02 had the Lance of Longinus," Asuka murmured, staring into the LCL and running her hand absently over her perfectly undamaged face, "the real one. It had the power to destroy an angel… so I used it." She sighed, slowly reaching up and pulling the neural connectors from her head.

Misato gasped as the redhead considered them for a moment, then threw them as hard as she could, watching them flip end over end before landing in the LCL with a small, barely audible splash.

"So what now?" Shinji asked the redhead cautiously, still holding Rei as if he expected her to vanish any moment, "Since the EVAs are gone, are you going to leave?"

"Please do not," Rei added quietly, gently freeing herself from Shinji's embrace so she could fully face the Second Child, "we… _I_ would like you to stay."

Asuka pondered this for a moment, looking up at the gigantic, broken form of the second angel as the others waited for her reply. "Don't really have any other place to go," she shrugged finally, "don't really want to go back to Germany – I don't even know if my father survived, and we haven't been too close lately, so I don't think I'd want to go there anyway… so I guess I'll hang around." Slowly, she rose to her feet, offering Shinji her hand and smiling softly. "Besides," she said mischievously, "I have to make sure I'm there when Wondergirl messes up and loses you."

"You will have a long time to wait," Rei whispered softly, blushing in spite of herself as her boyfriend was helped up, "I will not lose what I have so recently found." She blinked as Asuka leaned forward, offering her a hand as well.

"Better be sure," the redhead murmured seriously, "because I'll be around. And even if I'm married, have five kids, and live in the suburbs, I'll always hold a place for him."

"Five kids?" Misato asked skeptically, "I thought you hated kids."

Asuka stuck her tongue out. "Ever hear of a hypothetical?" she grumbled, practically yanking Rei to her feet, "You know what I mean… tramp."

"What did you say?" the purple-haired woman asked dangerously.

"I said, 'Damn,'" Asuka said immediately, "like, 'Damn, it's getting kinda dark – let's find a place to stay."

Shinji laughed as Misato rolled her eyes, brushing herself off as she got to her feet.

For a moment, no one said anything, they simply gazed off into the red ocean, remembering Kyoko's reminder that anyone could come back if they wanted to. It was just a matter of time. As a moment grew into a minute, Asuka reached out and took Shinji and Misato by the hand, smiling as they each took one of Rei's hands, forming a rough circle.

Each felt that something should be said. Some words of remembrance for those that they knew would not choose to come back, or some kind of promise that they would remain true to one another. But no one spoke. It was Misato that broke the circle first, pulling Rei towards Shinji and stepping back to allow them to embrace, motioning for Asuka to do the same.

The First and Third slowly wrapped their arms around each other, closing their eyes and forgetting the world around them as their lips gently pressed together. 

It wasn't an earth-shattering kiss by any means. It was the kiss of two people who are familiar with one another and know exactly what they want from life – and more importantly, each other. It was an everyday kiss… a simple kiss… and as such, it was one of the sweetest either of them would ever experience.

And then it was over. Rei and Shinji parted, blushing fiercely, Misato and Asuka refrained from commenting, though they did smile rather widely, and the four of them, together, began walking away from the beach that could have so easily been their final resting place.

Anyone watching them leave could have easily picked the four out of a crowd. There was a young man with brown hair, an older woman with purple hair, and two young women – one with hair of brilliant crimson, and the other with hair of deepest azure.

The End

Author's notes: well, there you have it – the end of Crimson and Azure. Sorry it took so long to finish… but real life jumped all over me and limited my writing time, and I lost that 'overall WAFFy' feeling I had when I wrote the other parts. Be thankful, though – because I briefly toyed with the idea of having Lillith rise with Gendou's face… but the mental image scared me so bad that I couldn't bring myself to do it… hehe As to the epilogue, I've decided not to do it because, well… the idea sucked. It was going to revolve around Asuka visiting Shinji and Rei after their wedding. ((shrug)) I scrapped it because it just never came out right, and I thought it was kind of a sugar overdose. I think the most interesting part of writing this story was the fact that it started out as a time killing fic. The first few chapters were about two pages each, and were meant to be just a bit of character development and interaction… obviously, it grew a bit. ;) The hardest part of writing this story was the last two chapters, for what that's worth to anyone. ((shrug)) I just couldn't make all the pieces fit at first – and even though I had the fifteenth chapter STARTED when the fourteenth was finished, a number of circumstances made it very difficult to finish. I just hope that I got it right in the end. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me this long, and thanks for reading.

Oh, two last notes – yeah, I know I said Crimson and Azure referred solely to Rei, but that ending seemed so fitting I just couldn't pass on it. ^_^ Also, on Asuka's father, since several pre-readers felt that Kyoko and Asuka's attitudes were both too kind towards him. Consider that Asuka never says she hates her father anywhere in the series. She DOES say, after becoming a pilot, that they won't have to worry about daddy being gone anymore, but this doesn't indicate that she hates him. ALSO note that nowhere in the story do I say that either of them LIKES him. Kyoko relates that he called her an angel once, and that she thinks he would be proud of Asuka… but that doesn't mean she'd forgiven him. Remember that she's seeing her daughter for the first time in seven years or so – would she WANT to focus on negative things? And at the end, Asuka doesn't seem too put out at the thought that her father might be dead. ((shrug))

See you next story. ^_~

Pre-read was done by Major Mayhem, Ryoma, NPH, Kriegsherr, wutdaheck, and Marzee. Thanks guys, it's been, er… complicated. Hehehe No, seriously – thanks. I couldn't have done it without your feedback.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


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